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+3Flareblade Snow Taradien Archlord Adramelech 7 posters | |
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Archlord Adramelech
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|  Subject: Fixed the Script for some of TLOK's Chapters'  Tue Jul 20, 2010 11:42 pm | |
| Because I felt like it was a bit too generic and there wasn't enough personality between Korah and Snow. Tell me what you think of the revamps, I want feedback. Chapter 1 REVAMP - Spoiler:
TLOK Chapter 1: Two men, two blades, one ambition.
* Premise: Korah enters a rather desolate village trying to catch his breath as he ponders to himself.
Korah: *whew* Man, I’m exhausted. How long have I been traveling for?
*Suddenly, Korah’s stomach rumbles…
Korah: Great…Now I’m hungry…and a little thirsty too…There has been a place for me to get a bite to eat and maybe catch a power nap. I wonder if that bar is open.
Korah heads off toward a bar.
Korah: Thanks goodness! It’s still open and not a moment to soon.
*Korah passes a stranger and heads up to the bar and the bartender.
Korah: Hey, do you sell food here?
Bartender: Ay, we have food. What it will be?
Korah: What do you have?
Bartender: Steamed Northern Cod, Roasted Pork, Hot Bread, and Fowl Stew.
Korah: The Stew sounds good, and maybe some Hot Bread would be good too.
Bartender: Can I get you anything to drink?
Korah: Water sounds good.
Bartender: All right, I’ll have your order out here in a few minutes.
*The Bartender heads toward the back of his restaurant to make Korah’s order while Korah sits down and relaxes for a bit.
Korah: *Sigh*, after this meal I’m not sure I’m going to have enough money left to buy more food and supplies. What to do, what to do…
Suddenly, Korah feels something sharp being poked at his back.
Snow: If you value this youthful and vigorous life of yours, I demand you hand over your weapon to me immediately.
*Korah moves rapidly and does a very quick draw and slash toward his foe, however Snow dodges rather gracefully and swiftly as well.
Korah: Not a chance!
*Korah lunges at his enigmatic foe with vigor and speed. Snow blocks his attack with his own blade. Both blades begin to glow feverishly and ice crystals form all about the restaurant.
Korah: Wha-What’s happening?
Snow: The 2 halves of Glacies Kattesai have resonated with one another, their elemental
Magic has reacted after being a separate for all this time!
Korah: Wai-What!? You mean your blade is the other halve of mine?
Snow: Yes, and now that you know I assume you’ll want my halve as well?
Korah: Like hell I do! I’ve been looking for the other halve of Blizzard for some time now.
Snow: Blizzard? Hmmm…How about we see who is the rightful owner of “Blizzard” truly is with a little swordplay!
*Snow knocks Korah out of the restaurant and in to the streets outside. Just then the Bartender comes out from the back.
Bartender: All right here’s your order….MY RESTAURANT!!!
Korah: *Spits* that was a cheat-shot you pulled, thug.
Snow: Please, if it was that easy to hit you then this fight won’t last very long will it.
Korah: Not if I have anything to say about it! *lunges at Snow*
*Snow and Korah lunge at each other and fight vigorously each tied blow for blow. Suddenly Snow stops and lifts his sword.
Snow: Blizzard…
*Korah notices it and replicates this process…
Korah: Blizzard…
Snow: Beam!
Korah: Beam!
*Two beams composed of dense and freezing air spiral towards each other at great speeds. They hit, cancel each other out, and oddly; cause it to snow.
Snow: How did he…?
*Korah rushes Snow again, Snow who is caught off guard is hit by Korah and knocked to his feet but before Snow can get back on his feet Korah points his blade directly at his chest.
Korah: Yield, now.
Snow: Heh, Impressive…I’m quite impressed.
Korah: Great, now that you’re so impressed hand over your blade, we had a deal.
Snow: What deal?
Korah: The one you made with me before you rudely hit me from behind.
Snow: I never made a deal with you, nor do I plan to surrender my weapon to you.
Korah: What!? Why you…!!!
Snow: Before you lose control, and do something you’d regret. I think we could learn a thing or two from each other. Tell me boy, what’s your name?
Korah: Korah...Korah Hyoutetsu.
Snow: Korah, my name is Snow Taradien. Why don’t you let me up so we don’t have a conservation with me IN the dirt.
Korah: Fine, but don’t try anything funny.
*Snow gets off the ground and then sheathes his blade.
Snow: You can relax, I don’t care about fighting you anymore. So tell me Korah, for what reason do you want both halves of Glacies Kattesai.
Korah: If you must know, I need a weapon strong enough to take on Nergal.
Snow: Nergal? As in Nergal the king of Konas?
Korah: The same monster who destroyed my entire world.
Snow: Ah, I see some wrong has been done to you by that tyrant too, eh? Still, Nergal is known world-wide for being a ruthless and unusually powerful warrior. I recall one tale before his kingship where he took on an army of one-hundred men single-handedly and walked out of that battle unscathed. You really believe you can take on a monster like that alone?
Korah: Not without the complete Blizzard I can’t. Now you see why I need it?
Snow: Sounds noble enough, the world would be a better place without that demonic man. So I’ll join you on your quest.
Korah: What!? I don’t need you or your help, all I need is your halve of Blizzard!
Snow: Easy Korah, if it were that simple I might have just given it to you, but it’s much more complex than that. You saw how the blades reacted when they touched each other, that’s a huge reservoir pure unbridled Ice magic. It takes years to control that much power. Let’s just take it one step at a time shall we Korah. Plus I heard Nergal’s out for the Soul Blades himself, I say we join forces and find the other Soul blades before he does.
*Snow extends his hand
Snow: So why don’t travel for a while and get to the other Soul Blades before he does.
*Korah slowly and reluctantly shakes Snow’s hands.
Korah: Fine, but after that I want the other halve of Blizzard.
Snow: Fair enough. Come, follow me, I know where to start!
*Both men run off screen.
*Credits roll.
Chapter 2 REVAMP: - Spoiler:
Chapter 2: Cold Wisdom
Premise: Snow and Korah continue their travels, when Snow stops them in a large field.
Snow: Here we are.
Korah: Why’d you stop Snow? Is there a Soul Blade hidden around here?
Snow: In an area where it would be in plain sight? Hardly, were here to train.
Korah: Train?
Snow: Yes, train. I’m going to teach you how to use your halve of Glacies Kattesai properly.
Korah: No way! I don’t need to be trained by you! If anything I should be training you and you saw how our last fight went! I dominated you!
Snow: Please, I held back to see how strong you really were, I underestimated you to be sure but you’re nowhere near as strong I.
Korah: Please, your just being a sore loser. You know I could beat you again if I wanted too!
Snow: Such confidence, very well.
*Snow walks over to the a patch of earth and digs his blade into the dirt.
Snow: If you are so confident, I’ll make you another deal. If you can take my blade from the dirt you can keep it for as long as you please, but if I you cannot…You will be my pupil and abide by my teachings for as long as I please. Do we have a deal.
Korah: All I have to do is take your sword? This is way too easy! Deal!
*Korah walks over to Snow’s blade and begins to pick it up when Snow kicks him in the back and knocks him 30 feet from his blade.
Korah: What the…!!! That wasn’t part of the deal!
Snow: All I said is that you had to take my weapon from the dirt, I never said I wouldn’t attack you if you tried to take it.
Korah: Lousy piece of…!
*Korah rushes at Snow, but Snow easily overpowers Korah each time.
Snow: Get up. If I were Nergal, I would have ended your life by now.
Korah: Damn, how strong is Snow? I guess he really wasn’t lying. What am I going to….wait, Snow just said I had to take his blade right? Then I don’t need to fight after all!
*Korah reaches for Snow’s blade, but as quick as light, Snow appears in front of Korah with his fist stretched back.
Snow: Blizzard…
Korah: Ha! You can’t do any Ice-based attacks without your bla…
Snow: Fist!
*Suddenly Korah is encased in a block of solid ice.
Snow: You overestimate your own abilities too much, your hubris is your weakness you arrogant little fool.
*Suddenly Korah break out of his frozen prison and strikes Snow with huge amounts of strength.
Korah: Who’s overestimating who now!
*Korah sees Snow comatose and proudly goes to claim his prize.
Korah: I don’t training, especially from you, I’ll be taking you’re halve of Blizzard now you arrogant little fool!
*As Korah grabs the blade his body begins to become incased in ice.
Korah: What the…!? Stop! No!
*Korah then becomes incased fully in a block ice.
Snow: Hmph…I usually have the power to back up my arrogance, you don’t have quite enough strength to do what I can. But in time that might change. Count yourself blessed that I’m freeing you.
*Snow frees Korah, who falls to his knees.
Korah: *panting* Why couldn’t I grab your sword without that happening.
Snow: I forgot to mention, I put a rather powerful spell on my weapon to prevent from being stolen. Anyone who touches besides me would be trapped in block of ice for all eternity, unless I say so.
Korah: You mean…you set me up!
Snow: Think of it as a lesson in humility, and a deal is a deal.
Korah: Errr…Fine you win, I’ll be your pupil…for now.
Snow: Good, you’ve learned your first lesson.
Korah: And that would be?
Snow: Respect your master.
Korah: You’re not my master, I only had one master.
Snow: Had?
Korah: Never mind… It’s not important…
*Suddenly thunder is overheard by both Snow and Korah.
Snow: It seems the weather has other ideas for the remainder of our session. This concludes today’s lesson, Follow me, we can find shelter in a cave near here.
*The two run off toward the cave to avoid being rained down upon, and set up camp for the night.
Snow: It looks like this storm is going very strong I’d assume it’ll continue through the night, it’s too heavy to keep training for now. It’d be best to catch our breath for now.
Korah: Snow, I have so many questions…But what’s bothering me the most is why you have a tail.
Snow: Korah, I am an Angelis.
Korah: An Angelis? The only thing I know about them is that they’re suppose to be a myth.
Snow: The world often calls things myths that haven’t been seen in eons. But Angelis blood runs through my veins nonetheless.
Korah: Can you tell me more?
Snow: Very well, since it will keep us entertained while we wait for the storms passing, I shall tell you what I know.
At the beginning of Terra’s formation two sentient races existed, one was the Angelis. Beings that appeared human and held the quality of an animal that existed since Terra’s formation. They possessed great reserves of magic and incredible physical powers. When an Angelis is born, they soon begin to develop power over one of the 8 elemental magic’s.
I developed mine at age 5 and soon began learn how to control it.
Korah: Wait, you said there were two races, what about the other one.
Snow: Ah yes…The Neodammerai.
Korah: The Neodammerai? I’ve never heard them before.
Snow: The Neodammerai were a race of relatively immortal beings, with great psychic and physical powers. They were highly developed and created advanced technologies that far exceed any of today’s inventions. They devoted themselves to founding a nation of peace and prosperity.
Korah: Wow.
Snow: Soon, other races began to spring forth from Terra’s womb, including humans. There was peace on Terra for many centuries until that dreaded day…
Korah: That dreaded day?
Snow: It was a day that should’ve be forgotten for all of time…The races of old call it “The Day of Calamity”
Korah: What happened on this day?
Snow: It began like any other peaceful day, until all over Terra the sky went dark with a foul mist which blotted out the sun and stars. Then like a malicious god of evil, it descended…
Korah: What did?!
Snow: The Ultimaxion...
Korah: Ultimaxion?
Snow: Do not say that name without reason, the sheer mention of its name can torment the weak of heart.
Korah: Then what was this…creature you speak of?
Snow: An unspeakable beast that reeked with the stench of one thousand rooting corpses, it had 8 heads each the size of a mountain, each containing a huge supply of one of the elemental magic’s. Once it had descended on Terra it let out a terrible roar that threw Terra into chaos. Many died, those who survived the horror hid where they could find little safety. It seemed to be the end of days for Terra. This continued for many years until eight brave souls with pure hearts decided that this could no longer continue. They took up blades crafted by their own hand and went to slay the demon.
Korah: What happened…?
Snow: Together they confronted the beast, and used their best effort to defeat it…But they couldn’t slice through the abomination’s mystic hide, it seems hope was lost. Until by some miracle their blades were granted divine power and their swords could cut through the devils hide. Each of the warriors slashed through one of the foul beast’s heads. The creature’s mystic blood soaked into their blades, granting each of the blade’s vast elemental strength. But with their last efforts’ the eight warriors had spent all of their power and had thrown their entire will into that last blow. Honorably, they perished in battle. But they left a memento of their great battle behind.
Korah: The Soul Blades…?
Snow: Exactly.
Korah: You mean….all of that really happened?
Snow: Every detail.
Korah: Wow....But…What happened to the Angelis and Neodammerai?
Snow: After Ultimaxion had been slain, another era of peace was brought about, two powerful empires were forged by the Neodammerai and the Angelis. They peacefully coexisted and forged an alliance of peace. Until the matriarch succumbed to an evil influence and the Angelis declared war on all other races on Terra. The Neodammerai, took it upon them to make sure that life and peace on Terra was secured and honorably fought back. The Neodammerai, with the help of the other races put a quick end to the war. But this weakened the power of the Angelis greatly. After the war, the Angelis began to grow weaker and weaker. Until only a few Angelis with great magical powers were left on Terra. This made them vulnerable and when the Angelis had finally found peace, a new race had grown strong and vast: Man.
Snow: Humans began to hunt the rest of the remaining Angelis…
Korah: But why?
Snow: Because soaking in or drinking the blood of an Angelis can extend the vitality and strength of a man tenfold. These hunts continued relentlessly, until almost all Angelis were extinguished. Only a few survived, and many of those who did were…
Korah: Were what? Tortured? Killed?
Snow: Corrupted.
Snow: An Angelis is a being of balance, because of the magic flowing through their body, if they are emotional unbalanced all the power in their body could overwhelm and mutate them. Their behavior becomes irrational and cruel and they will attack and kill anything that moves. Such is their fate…I was 17 when the hunts happened, I was lucky to make out alive and nonetheless corrupted. Sometimes I wonder if I’m truly last of my kind…
Korah: I know how you feel…I lost my entire village to evil men not long ago. It was like any other day, I was training to become a master swordsmen with my master, Daisuke when it happened. There was the smell of burning and the screaming of the town’s people. My master and I ran outside to see what the source of this trouble was, he and I ran to check on the townsfolk in different directions, when I saw him. Nergal… He hand personally told his men to burn the village to the ground and slaughter all the villagers. I saw him with a vile smile on his face. I ran at him with more anger than I had ever had in my entire life. He saw me coming, and swatted me away with ease. I never had experienced any power in my entire life, and then it all went black. I blacked out, when I came too, Nergal stood over me, with a vile smile over his face while the rest of the town burned around us. Then my master arrived, I knew he was as enraged as I was, but he seemed so calm.
Korah: Without muttering a word, they removed their outerwear and prepared for battle. Daisuke lunged at him with speed and grace, but within a blink of an eye…He vanished. Then before Daisuke could tell what was going on, Nergal appeared behind him and stabbed him through the chest as quick as the wind. It was over…The last piece of my world was gone in-front of my eyes…Nergal had been searching for the a piece of had Blizzard, I played dead to survive…when they couldn’t find it, they left. All my family and friends dead, and my village reduced to cinders. The pain I felt was tremendous…Before I could bury my master, he managed to hold on to some of his strength to tell me the location of Blizzard, and to get as far away from RichPort as I possibly could. After that…he died, I buried him and followed his instructions.
I swear, I will end Nergal’s reign of evil if it takes all of my very strength!
*Korah says with tears fall from his eyes. Snow comes up to him and puts his hand on his shoulder trying to comfort him.
Snow: We will Korah, We will. Now get some rest, tomorrow we start the real training.
*Meanwhile
Knight: So anything unusual happen around these parts?
Bartender: As a matter of fact, there was that incident involving swordsmen with very unique-looking blades.
Knight: Keep talking.
*End of Chapter.
| |
| | | | Snow Taradien
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| | Subject: Re: Fixed the Script for some of TLOK's Chapters' Wed Jul 21, 2010 1:33 pm | |
| I like the rewrite actually. It's pretty well put together.
I still like Firos better, since it litterally means ice. Its a north american native tounge that it comes from can't remember which. | |
| | | | Flareblade
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| | Subject: Re: Fixed the Script for some of TLOK's Chapters' Wed Jul 21, 2010 3:55 pm | |
| Its All great!, but i dislike this: - Quote :
- Snow: I forgot to mention, I put a rather powerful spell on my weapon to prevent from being stolen. Anyone who touches besides me would be trapped in block of ice for all eternity, unless I say so.
Kinda Tears the fact that its extremely [or so] hard to wield both halfs of the Blizzard blade | |
| | | | Snow Taradien
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| | Subject: Re: Fixed the Script for some of TLOK's Chapters' Wed Jul 21, 2010 3:58 pm | |
| - Flareblade wrote:
- Its All great!, but i dislike this:
- Quote :
- Snow: I forgot to mention, I put a rather powerful spell on my weapon to prevent from being stolen. Anyone who touches besides me would be trapped in block of ice for all eternity, unless I say so.
Kinda Tears the fact that its extremely [or so] hard to wield both halfs of the Blizzard blade Gonna have to agree with this. | |
| | | | X-ela Hyoutetsu
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| | Subject: Re: Fixed the Script for some of TLOK's Chapters' Wed Jul 21, 2010 7:08 pm | |
| - Snow Taradien wrote:
- Flareblade wrote:
- Its All great!, but i dislike this:
- Quote :
- Snow: I forgot to mention, I put a rather powerful spell on my weapon to prevent from being stolen. Anyone who touches besides me would be trapped in block of ice for all eternity, unless I say so.
Kinda Tears the fact that its extremely [or so] hard to wield both halfs of the Blizzard blade Gonna have to agree with this. Same here. Everything else is a lot better, though. I'm almost tempted to reanimate the chapters. | |
| | | | Chaosvii7
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| | Subject: Re: Fixed the Script for some of TLOK's Chapters' Wed Jul 21, 2010 11:41 pm | |
| - Korah Hyoutetsu wrote:
- Snow Taradien wrote:
- Flareblade wrote:
- Its All great!, but i dislike this:
- Quote :
- Snow: I forgot to mention, I put a rather powerful spell on my weapon to prevent from being stolen. Anyone who touches besides me would be trapped in block of ice for all eternity, unless I say so.
Kinda Tears the fact that its extremely [or so] hard to wield both halfs of the Blizzard blade Gonna have to agree with this. Same here. Everything else is a lot better, though. I'm almost tempted to reanimate the chapters. You should, an abrupt style change can easily warrant re-making the first 4 episodes. Just sit back and let Deux fix the scripts, all alone. | |
| | | | X-ela Hyoutetsu
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| | Subject: Re: Fixed the Script for some of TLOK's Chapters' Thu Jul 22, 2010 12:16 am | |
| - Chaosvii7 wrote:
- Korah Hyoutetsu wrote:
- Snow Taradien wrote:
- Flareblade wrote:
- Its All great!, but i dislike this:
- Quote :
- Snow: I forgot to mention, I put a rather powerful spell on my weapon to prevent from being stolen. Anyone who touches besides me would be trapped in block of ice for all eternity, unless I say so.
Kinda Tears the fact that its extremely [or so] hard to wield both halfs of the Blizzard blade Gonna have to agree with this. Same here. Everything else is a lot better, though. I'm almost tempted to reanimate the chapters.
You should, an abrupt style change can easily warrant re-making the first 4 episodes. Just sit back and let Deux fix the scripts,
all alone. Yup. All we would need to do is remake those sprites, and it'd work out fine. I've already got new SFX for it to make it look much better, and some new original soundtracks as well. | |
| | | | Snow Taradien
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| | Subject: Re: Fixed the Script for some of TLOK's Chapters' Thu Jul 22, 2010 10:35 am | |
| One more thing that has bothered me for quite a while,
The line Deux proposed is this, based off Korah's original line.
I was 17 when the hunts happened, I was lucky to make out alive and nonetheless corrupted
There was no problem with this until I got to thinking about it. He couldn't be 17 because age isn't equivilant. Should be around this:
I was 126 when the hunts happened, I was lucky to make it out alive and nonetheless corrupted
Why? Two reasons:
1:
This age would be near equivilant to a human 17 as in terms of mental maturity, at seventeen he'd be like equivilant to a three year old human in mental faculty. ADD is f- OH WHATS THAT SHINEY LIGHT?!
2:
This age would be near equivilant to a human 17 as in terms of sexual maturity, which makes more sense as he meets Rachel shortly after his family is killed, his attraction to her is real, not just a you saved me I love you relationship. (They reach sexual maturity at around 135, give or take a year, and start puberty around 90.)
| |
| | | | Archlord Adramelech
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| | Subject: Re: Fixed the Script for some of TLOK's Chapters' Thu Jul 22, 2010 2:50 pm | |
| I see what you mean Snow.
I'll fix that.
It's interesting to see that the Neodammerai and Angelis have a different age limit. Neodammerai fully mature roughly around the same time as humans but their complex biological functions keep them from aging any further, they never experiance cell aptosis?....I think that's how it's spelled? I thought Angelis sorta worked like Hellboy, when Hellboy turned 10 he was already a full grown adult...But then again he is the Beast of the Apocalypse who love pamcakes..
I'm working on 3 and 4 right now as we speak, I did to practice my writing. I'll finish writing 3 soon. | |
| | | | Snow Taradien
Procestus
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| | Subject: Re: Fixed the Script for some of TLOK's Chapters' Thu Jul 22, 2010 3:09 pm | |
| - Deuxelim wrote:
- I see what you mean Snow.
Glad you do!
I'll fix that.
Kay then.
It's interesting to see that the Neodammerai and Angelis have a different age limit. Neodammerai fully mature roughly around the same time as humans but their complex biological functions keep them from aging any further, they never experiance cell aptosis? ....I think that's how it's spelled? I thought Angelis sorta worked like Hellboy, when Hellboy turned 10 he was already a full grown adult...But then again he is the Beast of the Apocalypse who love pamcakes..
It's Apoptosis, really close there. Anyway, yeah, Y'know how with humans, they age really quickly? and then when they are born, they slow down until puberty? With angelis, the slow continues for a long time, and they're bodies don't speed up nearly as much during puberty, and slow down even slower than before after, extending their lifespan by an incredible amount.
I'm working on 3 and 4 right now as we speak, I did to practice my writing. I'll finish writing 3 soon.
Can't wait to see. Comments in bold. | |
| | | | Aiden
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| | Subject: Re: Fixed the Script for some of TLOK's Chapters' Thu Jul 22, 2010 11:55 pm | |
| ....
Not hitting puberty until age 90 would suck. | |
| | | | Chaosvii7
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| | Subject: Re: Fixed the Script for some of TLOK's Chapters' Fri Jul 23, 2010 1:38 am | |
| - Aiden wrote:
- ....
Not hitting puberty until age 90 would suck. That'd be like being developmentally 3 for 9 centuries. ...Ho dang. | |
| | | | Flareblade
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| | Subject: Re: Fixed the Script for some of TLOK's Chapters' Fri Jul 23, 2010 2:20 pm | |
| On the bright side, Your Young for a long time! *shot* | |
| | | | Archlord Adramelech
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| | Subject: Re: Fixed the Script for some of TLOK's Chapters' Wed Jul 28, 2010 12:42 am | |
| Sorry for the delay, I've been exceedingly busy. Chapter 3: - Spoiler:
TLOK Chapter 3: The Tynan Forest.
Premise: We join Snow and Korah in a heavy mid-combat. The two warrior’s spar with great intensity neither refusing to back down. Snow attacks with his Blizzard Beam, and Korah tries to counter with the same move.
Snow: Ugh…Not this again.
*Snow throws Korah off balance with by creating an icicle underneath him. The beam continues in Korah’s direction and Korah holds off its immense power with his blade.
Snow: Not bad, the boy managed to hold back the attack with the brunt of his sword. But how does he fare against this?!
*Snow ups the intensity of his technique. Korah becomes overwhelmed power.
Korah: I…I…I can’t hold on…
*Korah slowly freezes from the Snow’s onslaught. The Snow cancels his attack. Korah recuperates.
Snow: Not bad Korah, you’re getting better at this. Now tell me why did you lose?
Korah: Because…I didn’t try hard enough?
Snow: Not quite, you see your moves are rather predictable. Tell me, how many magical attacks do you know?
Korah: Uhhh…Come again?
Snow: *Sigh* How many Ice-based Magic attacks do you know?
Korah: Well besides Blizzard Beam and that Icicle attack…None.
Snow: Ugh…Tell me, I’m curious, how you managed to use Blizzard Beam when I was the one who invented the technique in the first place?
Korah: Well…I kinda’ just copied your movements and it just sort of…happened.
Snow: *Sigh* What I am going to do with you?
Korah: Teach me?
Snow: Very well, today I’m going to teach about using magic and magical attacks, mainly ones using the element of Ice because it is the type of magic we are limited to.
Korah: Snow, I don’t even know what magic really is.
Magic is the pure and metaphysical essessence of all things. Often it is split into 8 different elements that each have their own unique tone. Fire, Ice, Wind, Earth, Water, Thunder, Light, and Darkness. Magic is usually spilt between 8 tones; the user is the one who manifests the magical power in their own bodies, or in your case, Glacies Kattesai. Seeing as how you’re human and your magical powers may be nil, you’ll be relying on the magical power in your weapon as a source.
Korah: Okay, then what.
Snow: Magic takes on the form on whatever the user wills it to be, the stronger your will, the more it will shape to your own design. Understand?
Korah: I think so…
Snow: Good, now how about a little visual learning?
*Snow moves several feet away from Korah, he draws his blade.
Snow: The move I’m going use is best used at close range. I call this technique my Tundra Lance.
Snow focuses and channels his power; he thrusts his blade forward and forms a long and thick lance of Ice with ancient Angelis text on it.
Korah: Snow, what does it say on your blade?
Snow: Ah, that. That’s a phrase I’ve taken to heart all these years. It’s Angelis, in human tongue it says, “Do not let anger overcome you.”
Korah: What does that mean?
Snow: It’s a warning. It means that you must not lose control of your emotions, lest ye be corrupted. But enough of that, now it’s your turn.
Korah: Wait! Wait! Wait! You mean you want me to do that Lance attack right now? You haven’t even told me how you did it!
Snow: Well I thought since you picked on one of my techniques instantly, you’d be able to do it again.
Korah: But that was a fluke…
Snow: Or was it?
Korah: What do you mean?
Snow: Never mind, if you must know how I performed it, I can give you an explanation as to how I did it. You see I willed to happen.
Korah: Thanks Snow, that really narrows it down…
Snow: If you must have more details, I first thought of what I was summoning, it’s shape, form, density, etc. After that, I focused on imagining that it was real, that it was really there. Once my focus was great enough, the magic did the rest. Understand?
Korah: Not really…
Snow: Oi…Just use your imagination and focus; the magic will do the rest.
Korah: Okay…
*Korah focuses, channeling mystical forces from his blade; he thrusts forward, and creates a trident
Korah: I-I did it! I actually did it!
Snow: Well done Korah, you actually pulled it off not to mention a very interesting shape.
Korah: I was thinking about a trident at the time, I can’t believe that actually worked....I feel kinda tired…
Snow: Don’t worry, that’s just a temporary side-effect, it’ll be less prominent over time.
Korah: Okay, what’s next Snow?
Snow: Next, were going to try the Frozen Sphere technique. Imagine a gale of freezing air compacted into a ball, which can be launched from your blade and freeze your enemies in an instant. Got it?
Korah: I think so.
Snow: Let me demonstrate.
*Snow runs towards a small group of tree, and flings his sword at rapid pace, as spheres of frigid bombard and freezes the trees over.
Korah: Like that? Please Snow, that’s easy!
Snow: Oh? If it’s so easy, then you do it.
Korah: Just watch.
Korah replicates Snow’s moves at a slower pace.
Korah: See? What did I tell you?
Snow: Not bad, but it wasn’t nearly as fast as mine.
Korah: Please, I could’ve made it twice as fast as yours if I wanted.
Snow: Well excuse me, Almighty Korah.
Korah: What’s next Snow?
Snow: Next is the Glacial Barrier, Imagine a frontal shield composed of ice, which is excellent against projectile attacks. Like so!
*Snow uses the Glacial Barrier.
Korah: You mean like this?
Korah copies Snow’s move almost flawlessly.
Snow: (Thinking) is this really possible? Can this boy really execute techniques that have taken me decades to master and refine almost instantly? Is he really the one who’ll…?
Korah: Snow?
Snow: Sorry, where were we?
Korah: You were going to tell me how I did on this last technique?
Snow: Admirable, now I think it’s time we spar again.
Korah: So soon? But I just learned these moves just now.
Snow: I know, but since you’ve shown me a very impressive display of your new skills, it’s best we try them action.
Korah: Alright then Snow, I won’t hold back, bring it on!
Snow: That I shall.
*Korah and Snow battle vigorously, they knock each other farther into the edge of the forest. Eventually, Korah overtakes Snow and wins their bout.
Korah: Now we know who’s best.
Snow: (cough) I’m impressed Korah, you learn exceptionally fast and figuring out my tail as a weak-point, very impressive.
Korah: Hey Snow, do you know why you lost?
Snow: Because you’re still overconfident?
Korah: Nope, because you used too many Ice attacks which made you all too predictable.
Snow: Amusing, to bad I was still holding back.
Korah: What!?
Snow: Yep, not as much as last time, I’d say you had me use about 20% of my real power.
Korah: B-B-But I…you…err…You lied to me!
Snow: No I didn’t.
Korah: *sigh* I bet you’re tail isn’t even real…Speaking of which, if it’s such a weak point why don’t you cut it off or something?
Snow: Would you cut off one of your arms or legs?
Korah: No? Why?
Snow: Because I feel the same way about my tail.
Korah: I see, *whew* that was some intense spar! Although I find it strange that neither of us have any cuts or bruises, how is that?
Snow: It’s one of the Soul Blades mystical side-effects, it grants the user’s body a larger resilience to attacks and increases our body’s regenerative factor significantly.
Korah: Really? Whoa.
*Snow walks in-front of Korah looking at the forest.
Snow: Well it seems our battle has brought us to our next destination. Welcome Korah, to the Tynan Forest.
Korah: Wait you mean the forest that separates, Eldon and West Kona? The one that’s impenetrable and impossible to navigate? From what I heard, it’s the only thing protecting Eldon from a land-based invasion by Kona…. You want to go in there?
Snow: Oh Korah, you don’t need about getting lost, I used to live within this forest, and I know all its secrets; that and those bandits who inhabit the forest.
Korah: B-Bandits?
Snow: Don’t worry, they only loot and kill anyone who happens to carry anything with value. But don’t worry, they shouldn’t come after us and as long as you stick with me you’ll make out of this forest alive. Just make sure not to stray too far away from me.
Korah: W-Why not?
Snow: Well seeing as how you don’t know the forest like I do, and if you got lost you’d probably die of starvation or dehydration, which ever one comes first.
Korah: Wait…what?
Snow: Of course, those dragons would get you first before you died of either cause anyways.
Korah: Dr-Dr-Dragons?
Snow: Don’t worry, these aren’t massive beasts, their only Boreelos; Forest wyverns ,pretty small dragons, I’d say about 15 feet tall, around 4000 lbs or so, can breath fire, and like the taste of human flesh.
Korah: What was the last part about human flesh?
Snow: I wouldn’t let it bother you too much.
Korah: Snow…I’m really afraid of Dragons. Especially ones that eat people!!!
Snow: Good, this will help you overcome your fear.
Korah: Err…I bet your lying again. By the way, why are we going to go into this death trap of a forest?
Snow: We have to get into West Konas somehow don’t we?
Korah: What! Wait you us to go into West Konas! That’s Nergal’s kingdom, that’s out of the frying pan and into the red-hot fire! Why do you want to there?
Simple, because one of the Soul Blades is located in West Konas, and to get to West Konas all we have to do is get through this forest.
Korah: I don’t see why, I mean if it’s in Nergal’s kingdom what the chances he hasn’t found it already? And if we really have to go to West Konas, why don’t we just go around the forest?
Snow: Because if that is the case, we’ll need to be as quick as possible. If we leave now, we can get to the border of West Konas before nightfall. So are you coming or not?
Korah: I guess so, (I just hope this won’t be the end of me by going into that forest…)
*Later that day…
Brine: Report, Captain.
Captain: You were right sir, the tracks lead into The Tynan Forest.
Brine: Just as I thought, Ha! They thought they could lose us in the Forest.
Captain: Sir, the men were talking…and they aren’t really sure they want to go into the forest.
Brine: And why not?
Captain: They say the woods are cursed, sir.
Brine: Their only cursed if you’re human. Not if you’re me.
Captain: I forgot sir, you’re one of them.
Brine: I know the secrets of these forests all to well, Captain. Tell the men were going in the Forest, if they have a problem with that they can answer to me.
Captain: Yes sir!
Brine: And tell them, if a single one of them gets lost we won’t be coming back for them.
*Brine and his small band of soldiers march out.
End of Chapter.
| |
| | | | Snow Taradien
Procestus
Number of posts : 1600
Age : 31
Location : On the Scarred wasteland that is Terrago.
Post Points : 7956
Registration date : 2008-11-26
Character Profile
Race:: Angelis
Element:: Dark
Member Points: 0
| | Subject: Re: Fixed the Script for some of TLOK's Chapters' Wed Jul 28, 2010 6:43 am | |
| I heart your rewrites deux. | |
| | | | Archlord Adramelech
Contributor
Number of posts : 1641
Age : 31
Location : Bottom of the Ocean.
Post Points : 7513
Registration date : 2008-11-26
Character Profile
Race:: Undefined
Element:: Dark
Member Points: 2
| | Subject: Re: Fixed the Script for some of TLOK's Chapters' Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:19 pm | |
| - Snow Taradien wrote:
- I heart your rewrites deux.
Thanks Snow, wanna be my editor? | |
| | | | Snow Taradien
Procestus
Number of posts : 1600
Age : 31
Location : On the Scarred wasteland that is Terrago.
Post Points : 7956
Registration date : 2008-11-26
Character Profile
Race:: Angelis
Element:: Dark
Member Points: 0
| | Subject: Re: Fixed the Script for some of TLOK's Chapters' Thu Jul 29, 2010 6:26 pm | |
| - Deuxelim wrote:
- Snow Taradien wrote:
- I heart your rewrites deux.
Thanks Snow, wanna be my editor? Sure. | |
| | | | Chaosvii7
Contributor
Number of posts : 968
Age : 29
Location : Probably going to Hell
Post Points : 6707
Registration date : 2008-11-26
Character Profile
Race:: Demon
Element:: Dark
Member Points: 0
| | Subject: Re: Fixed the Script for some of TLOK's Chapters' Thu Jul 29, 2010 10:10 pm | |
| - Snow Taradien wrote:
- Deuxelim wrote:
- Snow Taradien wrote:
- I heart your rewrites deux.
Thanks Snow, wanna be my editor? Sure. Can I be the editor's editor? | |
| | | | Archlord Adramelech
Contributor
Number of posts : 1641
Age : 31
Location : Bottom of the Ocean.
Post Points : 7513
Registration date : 2008-11-26
Character Profile
Race:: Undefined
Element:: Dark
Member Points: 2
| | Subject: Re: Fixed the Script for some of TLOK's Chapters' Thu Jul 29, 2010 11:36 pm | |
| - Chaosvii7 wrote:
- Snow Taradien wrote:
- Deuxelim wrote:
- Snow Taradien wrote:
- I heart your rewrites deux.
Thanks Snow, wanna be my editor? Sure.
Can I be the editor's editor? I suspose 2 editors won't hurt. | |
| | | | Archlord Adramelech
Contributor
Number of posts : 1641
Age : 31
Location : Bottom of the Ocean.
Post Points : 7513
Registration date : 2008-11-26
Character Profile
Race:: Undefined
Element:: Dark
Member Points: 2
| | Subject: Re: Fixed the Script for some of TLOK's Chapters' Sat Jul 31, 2010 12:43 am | |
| And here is Chapter 4: - Spoiler:
Chapter 4: The Tynan Forest.
*Premise: Our heroes continue their story through the forsaken Tynan Forest, as Korah tries to catch his breath.
Snow: Come on Korah, this is no time to take a break.
Korah:*Sigh*…Come on Snow we’ve been running through this forest for hours, are you sure you know where you’re going?
Snow: Positive, we’re nearly half way through the forest.
Korah: I sure hope you’re right…
*The 2 warriors continue to move through the forest.
Korah: So Snow, which of the Soul blades is located in West Kona?
Snow: If the blade is still in the location it was forged, it will be the blade of Fire.
Korah: Fire, eh? Speaking of which why haven’t you tried to get the other Soul Blades yourself?
Snow: Angelis are only capable of wielding the magic element they were born with, and none of the seven. Even if I wanted too, the magic in my blood would be repelled the magic in the other Soul Blades
Korah: But why?
Snow: Magic was split into 8 different tones, to prevent any magic wielding being from gaining too much power. Only on a rare occasion has a being capable of wielding two or more of the elements or even all 8. You see, even if we tried to use another one of the elements, our attacks and spells would only come out as Ice.
Korah: Well that’s kind of limiting.
Snow: In some ways, yes. But this way no one had too much power. Plus Ice magic is still very powerful once mastered. Think of yourself as one of the few left who has begun to master it.
Korah: Well when you put it that way…
*Suddenly the 2 come across a fork in the forest path.
Korah: A fork in the road? Which way Snow?
Snow: Left.
*The two go left, and continue their passage.
Korah: Hey Snow, I have another question.
Snow: And that would be?
Korah: I want to know more about Nergal.
Snow: Oh and why is that?
Korah: It just that when I fought him, his strength and speed seemed unnatural.
Snow: What do you mean?
Korah: I mean the little I do know about Nergal is that he was roughly around the same age of my fallen master, yet his movements were almost superhuman. You don’t think he’s an Angelis…?
Snow: If he is, he’s doing a spectacular job hiding. But I have my doubts he’s an Angelis.
Korah: I know, what about the hunts, what if Nergal extended his power and life by slaying and drinking the blood of several Angelis?
Snow: Very interesting theory, but the effects of drinking the blood of Angelis are temporary. Before the Terrible Angelis Hunts, the magic dwelling in the blood of my people became less potent, so killing Angelis to boost your life-span would only last in a temporary burst of strength and vigor. The effects would probably have worn off in a few months. Nergal would’ve had to kill a very powerful Angelis with a huge reservoir of magic in his blood to have any permanent effects of physical power. It’s possible but highly unlikely.
Korah: Then how is he so powerful?
Snow: Well, there is one other way…It’s a stretch, but Nergal may have access to…another type of magic.
Korah: What do you mean? You told me there are only eight types of magic!
Snow: I said in general, but for now it’s not important for the time being.
Korah: Fine…
*The two come to another fork in the road.
Korah: Another fork? Which way Snow?
Snow: Left.
Korah: Really, again?
Snow: In this forest, you always take a left turn at a divided passage.
Korah: What?! It’s that easy?
Snow: No time for chat now, we should be close to the forest’s exit after this point.
Korah: Right, let’s go!
Snow: Korah, why don’t you take the lead for a little bit?
Korah: Uhhh…Okay.
Snow: Don’t worry I’ll be right behind you. Just keep moving forward.
Korah: Alright.
*Snow lets Korah lead and breaks away from Korah, he’s head to his temple.
Snow: (Thinking) I feel bad for ditching Korah like I did, but there’s something I have to do and this may get the only opportunity I get to do it.
*Snow enters a large temple.
Snow: Even after all these years…My tribe’s temple still stands firm. This brings back so many memories, my village, my family, the hunts, and surprisingly…even of Rachel…
Snow: Rachel, how I miss you. I still remember my time with you as clear as the blue sky of Terra.
*Enter Snow’s memories.
Snow: My tribe had been wiped out by a group of marauding men, who sought power and immortality. I was probably the only one who made out of that massacre alive. I left my home with the sacred sword in hand, and tried a new home without being pursued by the greed of men. I remember I had been running for days when I came into your village. The shock of seeing humans, and the pain of running for days without rest caused to collapse. When I awoke, I was in even more shocked to see you a human tending to my wounds without any prejudice in your heart. It was then I learned humans were not the greedy, vile, fiends I thought them to be. I learned there was a great deal of humans that could be kind and compassionate. For the next several months, I began to fall more in love with you. Although they could never replace the family I had lost, your family had become my family. For the first time in a long time, I was a happy. Until that fateful day…I had left the village to find a jewel to which I could forge you a ring, that day I was willing to be yours, I had prepared for our marriage. But when I returned my excitement had turned to anxiety, the village was ablaze, I learned that the age of the hunts had ended…A new age of power seeking greed had begun.
Knight: We’ll make this simple for you Angelis, hand over your weapon and you and the girl can go free.
Snow: I didn’t believe them, but I didn’t want to risk your safety.
Snow: Here, take it.
*Snow tosses his blade to the knights.
Knight: Thanks.
*The commanding knight murders Rachel. Snow watches in horror, he retaliates.
Snow: R-Rachel…No…
Snow: For the second time in my life, I watched my world fall to pieces. The pain was overwhelming.
*One hundred soldiers confront Snow hoping to take his blade.
Snow: The soldiers who attacked your village came with reinforcements, one-hundred strong. I was outnumbered heavily; it seemed I was going to lose. However, the intense sadness and grief in my heart turned to savage anger toward the men who did this. And with this great rage came incredible power.
* An enraged Snow slaughter’s all 100 men.
Snow: With my all of my strength, I managed to win. But with a great cost, the combination of losing you and the exhaustion I felt after the battle, I knew I would become a corrupt. I had nary an ounce of strength to fight it any longer. My skin began to turn cold and dark, fangs and wings slowly and painfully began to sprout from my back. I knew this was the end for me, I had lost all that I had cherished dear…I had nothing left, I had accepted my fate.
But somehow, at that moment, the thought of your warm smile came into my mind and heart. It gave me one last burst of strength to fight of the corruption process. Somehow it was enough…After the savage battle, almost nothing was left of the village you loved. Those who survived, told me I was never welcome back again for the despair I caused them…I couldn’t blame them. I continued my travels, when I learned that the new king of Kona, Nergal had commanded this attack as he heard it was where one of the Soul Blades was. The very blade I had held. Rachel, I won’t let your memory be in vain…with Korah’s help, we can end Nergal’s reign of evil. I swear it to you.
*Meanwhile, Korah travels deeper into the forest alone. But little does he know he’s being watched.
Korah: (Thinking) something doesn’t feel right…
*An Archer draws back his bow and aims it at Korah, while Korah scans the trees. At the right moment he notices the archer. The archer fires an arrow but Korah stops his attack with his Glacial Barrier.
Korah: Dammit! I was hoping to avoid these bandits. Hey! But we can take them right Snow?
Korah: ...Snow?
*Korah notices Snow isn’t behind him...
Korah: …Uh-oh…
*Suddenly more bandits appear from the brush and surround Korah, followed by their leader Jishen.
Korah: Ummm…Hey, we don’t need to fight! Why don’t we talk this over, I mean I didn’t come to hurt you, and I don’t have anything of value so what could you possibly want from me?
*All the bandits look at Korah’s blade
Korah: Oh…that’s something of value…
*Korah and the bandits tense up and prepare for battle and then strike.
*Meanwhile at the temple. While Snow is enjoying his memories he is disturbed by a loud noise.
Snow: What in Terra’s name was that?
*suddenly bandits invade the temple, Snow retaliates against them.
Snow: You damned fools! You dare violate this sacred place!
*Snow begins his assault on the invading bandits; while Korah does the same is deep in the forest. He uses a huge array of his Ice magic attacks to defeat hordes of oncoming bandits.
Korah: This is incredible! I wonder what else I can do with just my hands!
Korah: keeps attacking, but he starts to grow tired after each passing minute.
Korah: That’s strange, I’m starting to feel…tired? I hope that’s the rest them.
*More bandits show up.
Korah: I just had to say something didn’t I?
*Korah continues his battle, but the tides change, he begins to take damage and his attacks grow slower and weaker. Suddenly he is struck in the back by an arrow.
Korah: AAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!...Wha-What’s happening, I thought…I was invincible as long as I had Blizzard.
*Korah is suddenly viciously attacked by Jishen. Until he is pummeled into submission. While Snow finishes the rest of the bandits off in the temple, he drives them out of the temple but is ambushed by Wyverns when he steps outside. The battle isn’t over yet.
Snow…No…
End of Chapter.
| |
| | | | Snow Taradien
Procestus
Number of posts : 1600
Age : 31
Location : On the Scarred wasteland that is Terrago.
Post Points : 7956
Registration date : 2008-11-26
Character Profile
Race:: Angelis
Element:: Dark
Member Points: 0
| | Subject: Re: Fixed the Script for some of TLOK's Chapters' Sat Jul 31, 2010 9:36 am | |
| - Deuxelim wrote:
- And here is Chapter 4:
- Spoiler:
Chapter 4: The Tynan Forest.
*Premise: Our heroes continue their story through the forsaken Tynan Forest, as Korah tries to catch his breath.
Snow: Come on Korah, this is no time to take a break.
Korah:*Sigh*…Come on Snow we’ve been running through this forest for hours, are you sure you know where you’re going?
Snow: Positive, we’re nearly half way through the forest.
Korah: I sure hope you’re right…
*The 2 warriors continue to move through the forest.
Korah: So Snow, which of the Soul blades is located in West Kona?
Snow: If the blade is still in the location it was forged, it will be the blade of Fire.
Korah: Fire, eh? Speaking of which why haven’t you tried to get the other Soul Blades yourself?
Snow: Angelis are only capable of wielding the magic element they were born with, and none of the other seven. Even if I wanted to, the magic in my blood would be repelled the magic in the other Soul Blades.
Korah: But why?
Snow: Magic was split into 8 different tones, to prevent any magic wielding being from gaining too much power. Only on a rare occasion has a being capable of wielding two or more of the elements or even all 8. You see, even if we tried to use another one of the elements, our attacks and spells would only come out as Ice.
Korah: Well that’s kind of limiting.
Snow: In some ways, yes. But this way no one had too much power. Plus Ice magic is still very powerful once mastered. Think of yourself as one of the few left who has begun to master it.
Korah: Well when you put it that way…
*Suddenly the 2 come across a fork in the forest path.
Korah: A fork in the road? Which way Snow?
Snow: Left.
*The two go left, and continue their passage.
Korah: Hey Snow, I have another question.
Snow: And that would be?
Korah: I want to know more about Nergal.
Snow: Oh and why is that?
Korah: It just that when I fought him, his strength and speed seemed unnatural.
Snow: What do you mean?
Korah: I mean the little I do know about Nergal is that he was roughly around the same age of my fallen master, yet his movements were almost superhuman. You don’t think he’s an Angelis…?
Snow: If he is, he’s doing a spectacular job hiding. But I have my doubts he’s an Angelis.
Korah: I know, what about the hunts, what if Nergal extended his power and life by slaying and drinking the blood of several Angelis?
Snow: Very interesting theory, but the effects of drinking the blood of Angelis are temporary. Before the Terrible Angelis Hunts, the magic dwelling in the blood of my people became less potent, so killing Angelis to boost your life-span would only last in a temporary burst of strength and vigor. The effects would probably have worn off in a few months. Nergal would’ve had to kill a very powerful Angelis with a huge reservoir of magic in his blood to have any permanent effects of physical power. It’s possible but highly unlikely.
Korah: Then how is he so powerful?
Snow: Well, there is one other way…It’s a stretch, but Nergal may have access to…another type of magic.
Korah: What do you mean? You told me there are only eight types of magic!
Snow: I said in general, but for now it’s not important for the time being.
Korah: Fine…
*The two come to another fork in the road.
Korah: Another fork? Which way Snow?
Snow: Left.
Korah: Really, again?
Snow: In this forest, you always take a left turn at a divided passage.
Korah: What?! It’s that easy?
Snow: No time for chat now, we should be close to the forest’s exit after this point.
Korah: Right, let’s go!
Snow: Korah, why don’t you take the lead for a little bit?
Korah: Uhhh…Okay.
Snow: Don’t worry I’ll be right behind you. Just keep moving forward.
Korah: Alright.
*Snow lets Korah lead and breaks away from Korah, he’s head to his temple.
Snow: (Thinking) I feel bad for ditching Korah like I did, but there’s something I have to do and this may get the only opportunity I get to do it.
*Snow enters a large temple.
Snow: Even after all these years… My tribe’s temple still stands firm. This brings back so many memories, my village, my family, the hunts, and surprisingly… even of Rachel…
Snow: Rachel, how I miss you. I still remember my time with you as clear as the blue sky of Terra.
*Enter Snow’s memories.
Snow: My tribe had been wiped out by a group of marauding men, who sought power and immortality. I was probably the only one who made out of that massacre alive. I left my home with the sacred sword in hand, and tried a new home without being pursued by the greed of men. I remember I had been running for days when I came into your village. The shock of seeing humans, and the pain of running for days without rest caused to collapse. When I awoke, I was in even more shocked to see you a human tending to my wounds without any prejudice in your heart. It was then I learned humans were not the greedy, vile, fiends I thought them to be. I learned there was a great deal of humans that could be kind and compassionate. For the next several months, I began to fall more in love with you. Although they could never replace the family I had lost, your family had become my family. For the first time in a long time, I was happy. Until that fateful day… I had left the village to find a jewel to which I could forge you a ring, that day I was willing to be yours, I had prepared for our marriage. But when I returned my excitement had turned to anxiety, the village was ablaze, I learned that the age of the hunts had ended… A new age of power seeking greed had begun.
Knight: We’ll make this simple for you Angelis, hand over your weapon and you and the girl can go free.
Snow: I didn’t believe them, but I didn’t want to risk your safety.
Snow: Here, take it.
*Snow tosses his blade to the knights.
Knight: Thanks.
*The commanding knight murders Rachel. Snow watches in horror, he retaliates.
Snow: R-Rachel…No…
Snow: For the second time in my life, I watched my world fall to pieces. The pain was overwhelming.
*One hundred soldiers confront Snow hoping to take his blade.
Snow: The soldiers who attacked your village came with reinforcements, one-hundred strong. I was outnumbered heavily; it seemed I was going to lose. However, the intense sadness and grief in my heart turned to savage anger toward the men who did this. And with this great rage came incredible power.
* An enraged Snow slaughters all 100 men.
Snow: With my all of my strength, I managed to win. But with a great cost, the combination of losing you and the exhaustion I felt after the battle, I knew I would become a corrupt. I had nary an ounce of strength to fight it any longer. My skin began to turn cold and dark, teeth sharpened into fangs and wings slowly and painfully began to sprout from my back. I knew this was the end for me, I had lost all that I had cherished dear…I had nothing left, I had accepted my fate.
But somehow, at that moment, the thought of your warm smile came into my mind and heart. It gave me one last burst of strength to fight of the corruption process. Somehow it was enough…After the savage battle, almost nothing was left of the village you loved. Those who survived, told me I was never welcome back again for the despair I caused them… I couldn’t blame them. I continued my travels, when I learned that the new king of Kona, Nergal had commanded this attack as he heard it was where one of the Soul Blades was. The very blade I had held. Rachel, I won’t let your memory be in vain… with Korah’s help, we can end Nergal’s reign of evil. I swear it to you.
*Meanwhile, Korah travels deeper into the forest alone. But little does he know he’s being watched.
Korah: (Thinking) something doesn’t feel right…
*An Archer draws back his bow and aims it at Korah, while Korah scans the trees. At the right moment he notices the archer. The archer fires an arrow but Korah stops his attack with his Glacial Barrier.
Korah: Dammit! I was hoping to avoid these bandits. Hey! But we can take them right Snow?
Korah: ...Snow?
*Korah notices Snow isn’t behind him...
Korah: …Uh-oh…
*Suddenly more bandits appear from the brush and surround Korah, followed by their leader Jishen.
Korah: Ummm…Hey, we don’t need to fight! Why don’t we talk this over, I mean I didn’t come to hurt you, and I don’t have anything of value so what could you possibly want from me?
*All the bandits look at Korah’s blade
Korah: Oh…that’s something of value…
*Korah and the bandits tense up and prepare for battle and then strike.
*Meanwhile at the temple. While Snow is enjoying his memories he is disturbed by a loud noise.
Snow: What in Terra’s name was that?
*suddenly bandits invade the temple, Snow retaliates against them.
Snow: You damned fools! You dare violate this sacred place!
*Snow begins his assault on the invading bandits; while Korah does the same is deep in the forest. He uses a huge array of his Ice magic attacks to defeat hordes of oncoming bandits.
Korah: This is incredible! I wonder what else I can do with just my hands!
Korah keeps attacking, but he starts to grow tired after each passing minute.
Korah: That’s strange, I’m starting to feel…tired? I hope that’s the rest them.
*More bandits show up.
Korah: I just had to say something didn’t I?
*Korah continues his battle, but the tides change, he begins to take damage and his attacks grow slower and weaker. Suddenly he is struck in the back by an arrow.
Korah: AAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!...Wha-What’s happening, I thought…I was invincible as long as I had Blizzard.
*Korah is suddenly viciously attacked by Jishen. Until he is pummeled into submission. While Snow finishes the rest of the bandits off in the temple, he drives them out of the temple but is ambushed by Wyverns when he steps outside. The battle isn’t over yet.
Snow…No…
End of Chapter.
Not much to fix in chapter four. I've highlighted the changes that couldn't be fixed by removing an errant word/letter. I will do the same for all three others. Good work so far. | |
| | | | Snow Taradien
Procestus
Number of posts : 1600
Age : 31
Location : On the Scarred wasteland that is Terrago.
Post Points : 7956
Registration date : 2008-11-26
Character Profile
Race:: Angelis
Element:: Dark
Member Points: 0
| | Subject: Re: Fixed the Script for some of TLOK's Chapters' Mon Dec 20, 2010 10:53 pm | |
| - Spoiler:
TLOK Chapter 1: Two men, two blades, one ambition.
* Premise: Korah enters a rather desolate village trying to catch his breath as he ponders to himself.
Korah: *whew* Man, I’m exhausted. How long have I been traveling for?
*Suddenly, Korah’s stomach rumbles…
Korah: Great…Now I’m hungry…and a little thirsty too…There has been a place for me to get a bite to eat and maybe catch a power nap. I wonder if that bar is open.
Korah heads off toward a bar.
Korah: Thanks goodness! It’s still open and not a moment to soon.
*Korah passes a stranger and heads up to the bar and the bartender.
Korah: Hey, do you sell food here?
Bartender: Ay, we have food. What it will be?
Korah: What do you have?
Bartender: Steamed Northern Cod, Roasted Pork, Hot Bread, and Fowl Stew.
Korah: The Stew sounds good, and maybe some Hot Bread would be good too.
Bartender: Can I get you anything to drink?
Korah: Water sounds good.
Bartender: All right, I’ll have your order out here in a few minutes.
*The Bartender heads toward the back of his restaurant to make Korah’s order while Korah sits down and relaxes for a bit.
Korah: *Sigh*, after this meal I’m not sure I’m going to have enough money left to buy more food and supplies. What to do, what to do…
Suddenly, Korah feels something sharp being poked at his back.
Snow: If you value this youthful and vigorous life of yours, I demand you hand over your weapon to me immediately.
*Korah moves rapidly and does a very quick draw and slash toward his foe, however Snow dodges rather gracefully and swiftly as well.
Korah: Not a chance!
*Korah lunges at his enigmatic foe with vigour and speed. Snow blocks his attack with his own blade. Both blades begin to glow feverishly and ice crystals form all about the restaurant.
Korah: Wha-What’s happening?
Snow: The 2 halves of Firos Kattesai have resonated with one another, their elemental
Magic has reacted after being a separate for all this time!
Korah: Wai-What!? You mean your blade is the other halve of mine?
Snow: Yes, and now that you know I assume you’ll want my half as well?
Korah: Like hell I do! I’ve been looking for the other halve of Blizzard for some time now.
Snow: Blizzard? Hmmm…How about we see who is the rightful owner of “Blizzard” truly is with a little swordplay!
*Snow knocks Korah out of the restaurant and in to the streets outside. Just then the Bartender comes out from the back.
Bartender: All right here’s your order….MY RESTAURANT!!!
Korah: *Spits* that was a cheat-shot you pulled, thug.
Snow: Please, if it was that easy to hit you then this fight won’t last very long will it.
Korah: Not if I have anything to say about it! *lunges at Snow*
*Snow and Korah lunge at each other and fight vigorously each tied blow for blow. Suddenly Snow stops and lifts his sword.
Snow: Blizzard…
*Korah notices it and replicates this process…
Korah: Blizzard…
Snow: Beam!
Korah: Beam!
*Two beams composed of dense and freezing air spiral towards each other at great speeds. They hit, cancel each other out, and oddly; cause it to snow.
Snow: How did he…?
*Korah rushes Snow again, Snow who is caught off guard is hit by Korah and knocked to his feet but before Snow can get back on his feet Korah points his blade directly at his chest.
Korah: Yield, now.
Snow: Heh, Impressive…I’m quite impressed.
Korah: Great, now that you’re so impressed hand over your blade, we had a deal.
Snow: What deal?
Korah: The one you made with me before you rudely hit me from behind.
Snow: I never made a deal with you, nor do I plan to surrender my weapon to you.
Korah: What!? Why you…!!!
Snow: Before you lose control, and do something you’d regret. I think we could learn a thing or two from each other. Tell me boy, what’s your name?
Korah: Korah...Korah Hyoutetsu.
Snow: Korah, my name is Snow Taradien. Why don’t you let me up so we don’t have a conversation with me IN the dirt.
Korah: Fine, but don’t try anything funny.
*Snow gets off the ground and then sheathes his blade.
Snow: You can relax; I don’t care about fighting you anymore. So tell me Korah, for what reason do you want both halves of Firos Kattesai.
Korah: If you must know, I need a weapon strong enough to take on Nergal.
Snow: Nergal? As in... Nergal, the king of Konas?
Korah: The same monster who destroyed my entire world.
Snow: Ah, I see some wrong has been done to you by that tyrant too, eh? Still, Nergal is known world-wide for being a ruthless and unusually powerful warrior. I recall one tale before his kingship where he took on an army of one-hundred men single-handedly and walked out of that battle unscathed. You really believe you can take on a monster like that alone?
Korah: Not without the complete Blizzard I can’t. Now you see why I need it?
Snow: Sounds noble enough, the world would be a better place without that demonic man. So I’ll join you on your quest.
Korah: What!? I don’t need you or your help, all I need is your halve of Blizzard!
Snow: Easy Korah, if it were that simple I might have just given it to you, but it’s much more complex than that. You saw how the blades reacted when they touched each other, that’s a huge reservoir pure unbridled Ice magic. It takes years to control that much power. Let’s just take it one step at a time shall we Korah. Plus I heard Nergal’s out for the Soul Blades himself, I say we join forces and find the other Soul blades before he does.
*Snow extends his hand
Snow: So why don’t travel for a while and get to the other Soul Blades before he does.
*Korah slowly and reluctantly shakes Snow’s hands.
Korah: Fine, but after that I want the other halve of Blizzard.
Snow: Fair enough. Come, follow me, I know where to start!
*Both men run off screen.
*Credits roll.
Chapter 2: Cold Wisdom
Premise: Snow and Korah continue their travels, when Snow stops them in a large field.
Snow: Here we are.
Korah: Why’d you stop Snow? Is there a Soul Blade hidden around here?
Snow: In an area where it would be in plain sight? Hardly, were here to train.
Korah: Train?
Snow: Yes, train. I’m going to teach you how to use your halve of Firos Kattesai properly.
Korah: No way! I don’t need to be trained by you! If anything I should be training you and you saw how our last fight went! I dominated you!
Snow: Please, I held back to see how strong you really were, I underestimated you to be sure but you’re nowhere near as strong I.
Korah: Please, your just being a sore loser. You know I could beat you again if I wanted too!
Snow: Such confidence, very well.
*Snow walks over to the patch of earth and digs his blade into the dirt.
Snow: If you are so confident, I’ll make you another deal. If you can take my blade from the dirt you can keep it for as long as you please, but if I you cannot…You will be my pupil and abide by my teachings for as long as I please. Do we have a deal?
Korah: All I have to do is take your sword? This is way too easy! Deal!
*Korah walks over to Snow’s blade and begins to pick it up when Snow kicks him in the back and knocks him 30 feet from his blade.
Korah: What the…!!! That wasn’t part of the deal!
Snow: All I said is that you had to take my weapon from the dirt; I never said I wouldn’t attack you if you tried to take it.
Korah: Lousy piece of…!
*Korah rushes at Snow, but Snow easily overpowers Korah each time.
Snow: Get up. If I were Nergal, I would have ended your life by now.
Korah: Damn, how strong is Snow? I guess he really wasn’t lying. What am I going to….wait, Snow just said I had to take his blade right? Then I don’t need to fight after all!
*Korah reaches for Snow’s blade, but as quick as light, Snow appears in front of Korah with his fist stretched back.
Snow: Blizzard…
Korah: Ha! You can’t do any Ice-based attacks without your bla…
Snow: Fist!
*Suddenly Korah is encased in a block of solid ice.
Snow: You overestimate your own abilities too much; your hubris is your weakness you arrogant little fool.
*Suddenly Korah break out of his frozen prison and strikes Snow with huge amounts of strength.
Korah: Who’s overestimating who now!
*Korah sees Snow comatose and proudly goes to claim his prize.
Korah: I don’t training, especially from you, I’ll be taking you’re half of Blizzard now you arrogant little fool!
*As Korah grabs the blade his body begins to become encased in ice.
Korah: What the…!? Stop! No!
*Korah then becomes encased fully in a block ice.
Snow: Hmph…I usually have the power to back up my arrogance, you don’t have quite enough strength to do what I can. But in time that might change. Count yourself blessed that I’m freeing you.
*Snow frees Korah, who falls to his knees.
Korah: *panting* Why couldn’t I grab your sword without that happening.
Snow: Like I said before. You can’t have both easily… Yet you had the audacity to hold both at the same time.
Korah: You mean…you set me up!
Snow: Think of it as a lesson in humility, and a deal is a deal.
Korah: Err…Fine you win; I’ll be your pupil…for now.
Snow: Good, you’ve learned your first lesson.
Korah: And that would be?
Snow: Respect your master.
Korah: You’re not my master, I only had one master.
Snow: Had?
Korah: Never mind… It’s not important…
*Suddenly thunder is overheard by both Snow and Korah.
Snow: It seems the weather has other ideas for the remainder of our session. This concludes today’s lesson, Follow me, we can find shelter in a cave near here.
*The two run off toward the cave to avoid being rained down upon, and set up camp for the night.
Snow: It looks like this storm is going very strong I’d assume it’ll continue through the night, it’s too heavy to keep training for now. It’d be best to catch our breath for now.
Korah: Snow, I have so many questions…But what’s bothering me the most is why you have a tail.
Snow: Korah, I am an Angelis.
Korah: An Angelis? The only thing I know about them is that they’re suppose to be a myth.
Snow: The world often calls things myths that haven’t been seen in eons. But Angelis blood runs through my veins nonetheless.
Korah: Can you tell me more?
Snow: Very well, since it will keep us entertained while we wait for the storms passing, I shall tell you what I know.
At the beginning of Terra’s formation two sentient races existed, one was the Angelis. Beings that appeared human and held the quality of an animal that existed since Terra’s formation. They possessed great reserves of magic and incredible physical powers. When an Angelis is born, they soon begin to develop power over one of the 8 elemental magic’s.
I developed mine at age 5 and soon began learn how to control it.
Korah: Wait, you said there were two races, what about the other one.
Snow: Ah yes…The Neodammerai.
Korah: The Neodammerai? I’ve never heard them before.
Snow: The Neodammerai were a race of relatively immortal beings, with great psychic and physical powers. They were highly developed and created advanced technologies that far exceed any of today’s inventions. They devoted themselves to founding a nation of peace and prosperity.
Korah: Wow.
Snow: Soon, other races began to spring forth from Terra’s womb, including humans. There was peace on Terra for many centuries until that dreaded day…
Korah: That dreaded day?
Snow: It was a day that should’ve be forgotten for all of time…The races of old call it “The Day of Calamity”
Korah: What happened on this day?
Snow: It began like any other peaceful day, until all over Terra the sky went dark with a foul mist which blotted out the sun and stars. Then like a malicious god of evil, it descended…
Korah: What did?!
Snow: The Ultimaxion...
Korah: Ultimaxion?
Snow: Do not say that name without reason; the sheer mention of its name can torment the weak of heart.
Korah: Then what was this…creature you speak of?
Snow: An unspeakable beast that reeked with the stench of one thousand rooting corpses, it had 8 heads each the size of a mountain, each containing a huge supply of one of the elemental magic’s. Once it had descended on Terra it let out a terrible roar that threw Terra into chaos. Many died; those who survived the horror hid where they could find little safety. It seemed to be the end of days for Terra. This continued for many years until eight brave souls with pure hearts decided that this could no longer continue. They took up blades crafted by their own hand and went to slay the demon.
Korah: What happened…?
Snow: Together they confronted the beast, and used their best effort to defeat it…But they couldn’t slice through the abomination’s mystic hide, it seems hope was lost. Until by some miracle their blades were granted divine power and their swords could cut through the devils hide. Each of the warriors slashed through one of the foul beast’s heads. The creature’s mystic blood soaked into their blades, granting each of the blade’s vast elemental strength. But with their last efforts’ the eight warriors had spent all of their power and had thrown their entire will into that last blow. Honourably, they perished in battle. But they left a memento of their great battle behind.
Korah: The Soul Blades…?
Snow: Exactly.
Korah: You mean….all of that really happened?
Snow: Every detail.
Korah: Wow....But…What happened to the Angelis and Neodammerai?
Snow: After Ultimaxion had been slain, another era of peace was brought about; two powerful empires were forged by the Neodammerai and the Angelis. They peacefully coexisted and forged an alliance of peace. Until the matriarch succumbed to an evil influence and the Angelis declared war on all other races on Terra. The Neodammerai took it upon them to make sure that life and peace on Terra was secured and honourably fought back. The Neodammerai, with the help of the other races put a quick end to the war. But this weakened the power of the Angelis greatly. After the war, the Angelis began to grow weaker and weaker. Until only a few Angelis with great magical powers were left on Terra. This made them vulnerable and when the Angelis had finally found peace, a new race had grown strong and vast: Man.
Snow: Humans began to hunt the rest of the remaining Angelis…
Korah: But why?
Snow: Because soaking in or drinking the blood of an Angelis can extend the vitality and strength of a man tenfold. These hunts continued relentlessly, until almost all Angelis were extinguished. Only a few survived, and many of those who did were…
Korah: Were what? Tortured? Killed?
Snow: Corrupted.
Snow: An Angelis is a being of balance, because of the magic flowing through their body, if they are emotional unbalanced all the power in their body could overwhelm and mutate them. Their behaviour becomes irrational and cruel and they will attack and kill anything that moves. Such is their fate…I was 126 when the hunts happened, I was lucky to make out alive and nonetheless corrupted. Sometimes I wonder if I’m truly last of my kind…
Korah: I know how you feel…I lost my entire village to evil men not long ago. It was like any other day; I was training to become a master swordsman with my master, Daisuke when it happened. There was the smell of burning and the screaming of the town’s people. My master and I ran outside to see what the source of this trouble was, he and I ran to check on the townsfolk in different directions, when I saw him. Nergal… He hand personally told his men to burn the village to the ground and slaughter all the villagers. I saw him with a vile smile on his face. I ran at him with more anger than I had ever had in my entire life. He saw me coming, and swatted me away with ease. I never had experienced any power in my entire life, and then it all went black. I blacked out, when I came too, Nergal stood over me, with a vile smile over his face while the rest of the town burned around us. Then my master arrived, I knew he was as enraged as I was, but he seemed so calm.
Korah: Without muttering a word, they removed their outerwear and prepared for battle. Daisuke lunged at him with speed and grace, but within a blink of an eye…He vanished. Then before Daisuke could tell what was going on, Nergal appeared behind him and stabbed him through the chest as quick as the wind. It was over…The last piece of my world was gone in-front of my eyes…Nergal had been searching for a piece of the Blizzard, I played dead to survive…when they couldn’t find it, they left. All my family and friends dead, and my village reduced to cinders. The pain I felt was tremendous…Before I could bury my master; he managed to hold on to some of his strength to tell me the location of Blizzard, and to get as far away from RichPort as I possibly could. After that…he died, I buried him and followed his instructions.
I swear... I will end Nergal’s reign of evil if it takes all of my very strength!
*Korah says with tears fall from his eyes. Snow comes up to him and puts his hand on his shoulder trying to comfort him.
Snow: We will Korah, We will. Now get some rest, tomorrow we start the real training.
*Meanwhile
Knight: So anything unusual happen around these parts?
Bartender: As a matter of fact, there was that incident involving swordsmen with very unique-looking blades.
Knight: Keep talking.
*End of Chapter.
TLOK Chapter 3: The Tynan Forest.
Premise: We join Snow and Korah in a heavy mid-combat. The two warrior’s spar with great intensity neither refusing to back down. Snow attacks with his Blizzard Beam, and Korah tries to counter with the same move.
Snow: Ugh…Not this again.
*Snow throws Korah off balance with by creating an icicle underneath him. The beam continues in Korah’s direction and Korah holds off its immense power with his blade.
Snow: Not bad, the boy managed to hold back the attack with the brunt of his sword. But how does he fare against this?!
*Snow ups the intensity of his technique. Korah becomes overwhelmed power.
Korah: I…I…I can’t hold on…
*Korah slowly freezes from the Snow’s onslaught. The Snow cancels his attack. Korah recuperates.
Snow: Not bad Korah, you’re getting better at this. Now tell me why did you lose?
Korah: Because…I didn’t try hard enough?
Snow: Not quite, you see your moves are rather predictable. Tell me, how many magical attacks do you know?
Korah: Uhhh…Come again?
Snow: *Sigh* How many Ice-based Magic attacks do you know?
Korah: Well besides Blizzard Beam and that Icicle attack…None.
Snow: Ugh…Tell me, I’m curious, how you managed to use Blizzard Beam when I was the one who invented the technique in the first place?
Korah: Well…I kinda’ just copied your movements and it just sort of…happened.
Snow: *Sigh* What I am going to do with you?
Korah: Teach me?
Snow: Very well, today I’m going to teach about using magic and magical attacks, mainly ones using the element of Ice because it is the type of magic we are limited to.
Korah: Snow, I don’t even know what magic really is.
Magic is the pure and metaphysical essence of all things. Often it is split into 8 different elements that each have their own unique tone. Fire, Ice, Wind, Earth, Water, Thunder, Light, and Darkness. Magic is usually spilt between 8 tones; the user is the one who manifests the magical power in their own bodies, or in your case, Firos Kattesai. Seeing as how you’re human and your magical powers may be nil, you’ll be relying on the magical power in your weapon as a source.
Korah: Okay, then what.
Snow: Magic takes on the form on whatever the user wills it to be, the stronger your will, the more it will shape to your own design. Understand?
Korah: I think so…
Snow: Good, now how about a little visual learning?
*Snow moves several feet away from Korah, he draws his blade.
Snow: The move I’m going use is best used at close range. I call this technique my Tundra Lance.
Snow focuses and channels his power; he thrusts his blade forward and forms a long and thick lance of Ice with ancient Angelis text on it.
Korah: Snow, what does it say on your blade?
Snow: Ah, that. That’s a phrase I’ve taken to heart all these years. It’s Angelis, in human tongue it says, “Do not let anger overcome you.”
Korah: What does that mean?
Snow: It’s a warning. It means that you must not lose control of your emotions, lest ye be corrupted. But enough of that, now it’s your turn.
Korah: Wait! Wait! Wait! You mean you want me to do that Lance attack right now? You haven’t even told me how you did it!
Snow: Well I thought since you picked on one of my techniques instantly, you’d be able to do it again.
Korah: But that was a fluke…
Snow: Or was it?
Korah: What do you mean?
Snow: Never mind, if you must know how I performed it, I can give you an explanation as to how I did it. You see I willed to happen.
Korah: Thanks Snow, that really narrows it down…
Snow: If you must have more details, I first thought of what I was summoning, it’s shape, form, density, etc. After that, I focused on imagining that it was real, that it was really there. Once my focus was great enough, the magic did the rest. Understand?
Korah: Not really…
Snow: Oi…Just use your imagination and focus; the magic will do the rest.
Korah: Okay…
*Korah focuses, channelling mystical forces from his blade; he thrusts forward, and creates a trident
Korah: I-I did it! I actually did it!
Snow: Well done Korah, you actually pulled it off not to mention a very interesting shape.
Korah: I was thinking about a trident at the time, I can’t believe that actually worked....I feel kinda tired…
Snow: Don’t worry, that’s just a temporary side-effect, it’ll be less prominent over time.
Korah: Okay, what’s next Snow?
Snow: Next, were going to try the Frozen Sphere technique. Imagine a gale of freezing air compacted into a ball, which can be launched from your blade and freeze your enemies in an instant. Got it?
Korah: I think so.
Snow: Let me demonstrate.
*Snow runs towards a small group of tree, and flings his sword at rapid pace, as spheres of frigid bombard and freezes the trees over.
Korah: Like that? Please Snow, that’s easy!
Snow: Oh? If it’s so easy, then you do it.
Korah: Just watch.
Korah replicates Snow’s moves at a slower pace.
Korah: See? What did I tell you?
Snow: Not bad, but it wasn’t nearly as fast as mine.
Korah: Please, I could’ve made it twice as fast as yours if I wanted.
Snow: Well excuse me, Almighty Korah.
Korah: What’s next Snow?
Snow: Next is the Glacial Barrier, Imagine a frontal shield composed of ice, which is excellent against projectile attacks. Like so!
*Snow uses the Glacial Barrier.
Korah: You mean like this?
Korah copies Snow’s move almost flawlessly.
Snow: (Thinking) is this really possible? Can this boy really execute techniques that have taken me decades to master and refine almost instantly? Is he really the one who’ll…?
Korah: Snow?
Snow: Sorry, where were we?
Korah: You were going to tell me how I did on this last technique?
Snow: Admirable, now I think it’s time we spar again.
Korah: So soon? But I just learned these moves just now.
Snow: I know, but since you’ve shown me a very impressive display of your new skills, it’s best we try them action.
Korah: Alright then Snow, I won’t hold back, bring it on!
Snow: That I shall.
*Korah and Snow battle vigorously, they knock each other farther into the edge of the forest. Eventually, Korah overtakes Snow and wins their bout.
Korah: Now we know who’s best.
Snow: (cough) I’m impressed Korah, you learn exceptionally fast and figuring out my tail as a weak-point, very impressive.
Korah: Hey Snow, do you know why you lost?
Snow: Because you’re still overconfident?
Korah: Nope, because you used too many Ice attacks which made you all too predictable.
Snow: Amusing, to bad I was still holding back.
Korah: What!?
Snow: Yep, not as much as last time, I’d say you had me use about 20% of my real power.
Korah: B-B-But I…you…err…You lied to me!
Snow: No I didn’t.
Korah: *sigh* I bet you’re tail isn’t even real…Speaking of which, if it’s such a weak point why don’t you cut it off or something?
Snow: Would you cut off one of your arms or legs?
Korah: No? Why?
Snow: Because I feel the same way about my tail.
Korah: I see, *whew* that was some intense spar! Although I find it strange that neither of us have any cuts or bruises, how is that?
Snow: It’s one of the Soul Blades mystical side-effects, it grants the user’s body a larger resilience to attacks and increases our body’s regenerative factor significantly.
Korah: Really? Whoa.
*Snow walks in-front of Korah looking at the forest.
Snow: Well it seems our battle has brought us to our next destination. Welcome Korah, to the Tynan Forest.
Korah: Wait you mean the forest that separates, Eldon and West Kona? The one that’s impenetrable and impossible to navigate? From what I heard, it’s the only thing protecting Eldon from a land-based invasion by Kona…. You want to go in there?
Snow: Oh Korah, you don’t need about getting lost, I used to live within this forest, and I know all its secrets; that and those bandits who inhabit the forest.
Korah: B-Bandits?
Snow: Don’t worry, they only loot and kill anyone who happens to carry anything with value. But don’t worry, they shouldn’t come after us and as long as you stick with me you’ll make out of this forest alive. Just make sure not to stray too far away from me.
Korah: W-Why not?
Snow: Well seeing as how you don’t know the forest like I do, and if you got lost you’d probably die of starvation or dehydration, which ever one comes first.
Korah: Wait…what?
Snow: Of course, those dragons would get you first before you died of either cause anyways.
Korah: Dr-Dr-Dragons?
Snow: Don’t worry, these aren’t massive beasts, their only Boreelos; Forest wyverns ,pretty small dragons, I’d say about 15 feet tall, around 4000 lbs or so, can breath fire, and like the taste of human flesh.
Korah: What was the last part about human flesh?
Snow: I wouldn’t let it bother you too much.
Korah: Snow…I’m really afraid of Dragons. Especially ones that eat people!!!
Snow: Good, this will help you overcome your fear.
Korah: Err…I bet your lying again. By the way, why are we going to go into this death trap of a forest?
Snow: We have to get into West Konas somehow don’t we?
Korah: What! Wait you us to go into West Konas! That’s Nergal’s kingdom, that’s out of the frying pan and into the red-hot fire! Why do you want to there?
Simple, because one of the Soul Blades is located in West Konas, and to get to West Konas all we have to do is get through this forest.
Korah: I don’t see why, I mean if it’s in Nergal’s kingdom what the chances he hasn’t found it already? And if we really have to go to West Konas, why don’t we just go around the forest?
Snow: Because if that is the case, we’ll need to be as quick as possible. If we leave now, we can get to the border of West Konas before nightfall. So are you coming or not?
Korah: I guess so, (I just hope this won’t be the end of me by going into that forest…)
*Later that day…
Brine: Report, Captain.
Captain: You were right sir, the tracks lead into The Tynan Forest.
Brine: Just as I thought, Ha! They thought they could lose us in the Forest.
Captain: Sir, the men were talking…and they aren’t really sure they want to go into the forest.
Brine: And why not?
Captain: They say the woods are cursed, sir.
Brine: Their only cursed if you’re human. Not if you’re me.
Captain: I forgot sir, you’re one of them.
Brine: I know the secrets of these forests all to well, Captain. Tell the men were going in the Forest, if they have a problem with that they can answer to me.
Captain: Yes sir!
Brine: And tell them, if a single one of them gets lost we won’t be coming back for them.
*Brine and his small band of soldiers march out.
End of Chapter.
Chapter 4: The Tynan Forest.
*Premise: Our heroes continue their story through the forsaken Tynan Forest, as Korah tries to catch his breath.
Snow: Come on Korah, this is no time to take a break.
Korah:*Sigh*…Come on Snow we’ve been running through this forest for hours, are you sure you know where you’re going?
Snow: Positive, we’re nearly half way through the forest.
Korah: I sure hope you’re right…
*The 2 warriors continue to move through the forest.
Korah: So Snow, which of the Soul blades is located in West Kona?
Snow: If the blade is still in the location it was forged, it will be the blade of Fire.
Korah: Fire, eh? Speaking of which why haven’t you tried to get the other Soul Blades yourself?
Snow: Angelis are only capable of wielding the magic element they were born with, and none of the other seven. Even if I wanted to, the magic in my blood would be repelled the magic in the other Soul Blades.
Korah: But why?
Snow: Magic was split into 8 different tones, to prevent any magic wielding being from gaining too much power. Only on a rare occasion has a being capable of wielding two or more of the elements or even all 8. You see, even if we tried to use another one of the elements, our attacks and spells would only come out as Ice.
Korah: Well that’s kind of limiting.
Snow: In some ways, yes. But this way no one had too much power. Plus Ice magic is still very powerful once mastered. Think of yourself as one of the few left who has begun to master it.
Korah: Well when you put it that way…
*Suddenly the 2 come across a fork in the forest path.
Korah: A fork in the road? Which way Snow?
Snow: Left.
*The two go left, and continue their passage.
Korah: Hey Snow, I have another question.
Snow: And that would be?
Korah: I want to know more about Nergal.
Snow: Oh and why is that?
Korah: It just that when I fought him, his strength and speed seemed unnatural.
Snow: What do you mean?
Korah: I mean the little I do know about Nergal is that he was roughly around the same age of my fallen master, yet his movements were almost superhuman. You don’t think he’s an Angelis…?
Snow: If he is, he’s doing a spectacular job hiding. But I have my doubts he’s an Angelis.
Korah: I know, what about the hunts, what if Nergal extended his power and life by slaying and drinking the blood of several Angelis?
Snow: Very interesting theory, but the effects of drinking the blood of Angelis are temporary. Before the Terrible Angelis Hunts, the magic dwelling in the blood of my people became less potent, so killing Angelis to boost your life-span would only last in a temporary burst of strength and vigour. The effects would probably have worn off in a few months. Nergal would’ve had to kill a very powerful Angelis with a huge reservoir of magic in his blood to have any permanent effects of physical power. It’s possible but highly unlikely.
Korah: Then how is he so powerful?
Snow: Well, there is one other way…It’s a stretch, but Nergal may have access to…another type of magic.
Korah: What do you mean? You told me there are only eight types of magic!
Snow: I said in general, but for now it’s not important for the time being.
Korah: Fine…
*The two come to another fork in the road.
Korah: Another fork? Which way Snow?
Snow: Left.
Korah: Really, again?
Snow: In this forest, you always take a left turn at a divided passage.
Korah: What?! It’s that easy?
Snow: No time for chat now, we should be close to the forest’s exit after this point.
Korah: Right, let’s go!
Snow: Korah, why don’t you take the lead for a little bit?
Korah: Uhhh…Okay.
Snow: Don’t worry I’ll be right behind you. Just keep moving forward.
Korah: Alright.
*Snow lets Korah lead and breaks away from Korah, he’s head to his temple.
Snow: (Thinking) I feel bad for ditching Korah like I did, but there’s something I have to do and this may get the only opportunity I get to do it.
*Snow enters a large temple.
Snow: Even after all these years… My tribe’s temple still stands firm. This brings back so many memories, my village, my family, the hunts, and surprisingly… even of Rachel…
Snow: Rachel, how I miss you. I still remember my time with you as clear as the blue sky of Terra.
*Enter Snow’s memories.
Snow: My tribe had been wiped out by a group of marauding men, who sought power and immortality. I was probably the only one who made out of that massacre alive. I left my home with the sacred sword in hand, and tried a new home without being pursued by the greed of men. I remember I had been running for days when I came into your village. The shock of seeing humans, and the pain of running for days without rest caused to collapse. When I awoke, I was in even more shocked to see you a human tending to my wounds without any prejudice in your heart. It was then I learned humans were not the greedy, vile, fiends I thought them to be. I learned there was a great deal of humans that could be kind and compassionate. For the next several months, I began to fall more in love with you. Although they could never replace the family I had lost, your family had become my family. For the first time in a long time, I was happy. Until that fateful day… I had left the village to find a jewel to which I could forge you a ring, that day I was willing to be yours, I had prepared for our marriage. But when I returned my excitement had turned to anxiety, the village was ablaze, I learned that the age of the hunts had ended… A new age of power seeking greed had begun.
Knight: We’ll make this simple for you Angelis, hand over your weapon and you and the girl can go free.
Snow: I didn’t believe them, but I didn’t want to risk your safety.
Snow: Here, take it.
*Snow tosses his blade to the knights.
Knight: Thanks.
*The commanding knight murders Rachel. Snow watches in horror, he retaliates.
Snow: R-Rachel…No…
Snow: For the second time in my life, I watched my world fall to pieces. The pain was overwhelming.
*One hundred soldiers confront Snow hoping to take his blade.
Snow: The soldiers who attacked your village came with reinforcements, one-hundred strong. I was outnumbered heavily; it seemed I was going to lose. However, the intense sadness and grief in my heart turned to savage anger toward the men who did this. And with this great rage came incredible power.
* An enraged Snow slaughters all 100 men.
Snow: With my all of my strength, I managed to win. But with a great cost, the combination of losing you and the exhaustion I felt after the battle, I knew I would become a corrupt. I had nary an ounce of strength to fight it any longer. My skin began to turn cold and dark; teeth sharpened into fangs and wings slowly and painfully began to sprout from my back. I knew this was the end for me, I had lost all that I had cherished dear…I had nothing left, I had accepted my fate.
But somehow, at that moment, the thought of your warm smile came into my mind and heart. It gave me one last burst of strength to fight of the corruption process. Somehow it was enough…After the savage battle, almost nothing was left of the village you loved. Those who survived told me I was never welcome back again for the despair I caused them… I couldn’t blame them. I continued my travels, when I learned that the new king of Kona, Nergal had commanded this attack as he heard it was where one of the Soul Blades was. The very blade I had held. Rachel, I won’t let your memory be in vain… with Korah’s help, we can end Nergal’s reign of evil. I swear it to you.
*Meanwhile, Korah travels deeper into the forest alone. But little does he know he’s being watched.
Korah: (Thinking) something doesn’t feel right…
*An Archer draws back his bow and aims it at Korah, while Korah scans the trees. At the right moment he notices the archer. The archer fires an arrow but Korah stops his attack with his Glacial Barrier.
Korah: Damnit! I was hoping to avoid these bandits. Hey! But we can take them right Snow?
Korah: ...Snow?
*Korah notices Snow isn’t behind him...
Korah: …Uh-oh…
*Suddenly more bandits appear from the brush and surround Korah, followed by their leader Jishen.
Korah: Ummm…Hey, we don’t need to fight! Why don’t we talk this over, I mean I didn’t come to hurt you, and I don’t have anything of value so what could you possibly want from me?
*All the bandits look at Korah’s blade
Korah: Oh…that’s something of value…
*Korah and the bandits tense up and prepare for battle and then strike.
*Meanwhile at the temple. While Snow is enjoying his memories he is disturbed by a loud noise.
Snow: What in Terra’s name was that?
*suddenly bandits invade the temple, Snow retaliates against them.
Snow: You damned fools! You dare violate this sacred place!
*Snow begins his assault on the invading bandits; while Korah does the same is deep in the forest. He uses a huge array of his Ice magic attacks to defeat hordes of oncoming bandits.
Korah: This is incredible! I wonder what else I can do with just my hands!
Korah keeps attacking, but he starts to grow tired after each passing minute.
Korah: That’s strange, I’m starting to feel…tired? I hope that’s the rest them.
*More bandits show up.
Korah: I just had to say something didn’t I?
*Korah continues his battle, but the tides change, he begins to take damage and his attacks grow slower and weaker. Suddenly he is struck in the back by an arrow.
Korah: AAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!...Wha-What’s happening, I thought…I was invincible as long as I had Blizzard.
*Korah is suddenly viciously attacked by Jishen. Until he is pummelled into submission. While Snow finishes the rest of the bandits off in the temple, he drives them out of the temple but is ambushed by Wyverns when he steps outside. The battle isn’t over yet.
Snow…No…
End of Chapter.
| |
| | | | Archlord Adramelech
Contributor
Number of posts : 1641
Age : 31
Location : Bottom of the Ocean.
Post Points : 7513
Registration date : 2008-11-26
Character Profile
Race:: Undefined
Element:: Dark
Member Points: 2
| | Subject: Re: Fixed the Script for some of TLOK's Chapters' Wed Jan 12, 2011 4:29 pm | |
| Added some stuff to Ch.2 about the Phanteghor: - Spoiler:
Chapter 2: Cold Wisdom
Premise: Snow and Korah continue their travels, when Snow stops them in a large field.
Snow: Here we are.
Korah: Why’d you stop Snow? Is there a Soul Blade hidden around here?
Snow: In an area where it would be in plain sight? Hardly, were here to train.
Korah: Train?
Snow: Yes, train. I’m going to teach you how to use your halve of Glacies Kattesai properly.
Korah: No way! I don’t need to be trained by you! If anything I should be training you and you saw how our last fight went! I dominated you!
Snow: Please, I held back to see how strong you really were, I underestimated you to be sure but you’re nowhere near as strong I.
Korah: Please, your just being a sore loser. You know I could beat you again if I wanted too!
Snow: Such confidence, very well.
*Snow walks over to the patch of earth and digs his blade into the dirt.
Snow: If you are so confident, I’ll make you another deal. If you can take my blade from the dirt you can keep it for as long as you please, but if I you cannot…You will be my pupil and abide by my teachings for as long as I please. Do we have a deal?
Korah: All I have to do is take your sword? This is way too easy! Deal!
*Korah walks over to Snow’s blade and begins to pick it up when Snow kicks him in the back and knocks him 30 feet from his blade.
Korah: What the…!!! That wasn’t part of the deal!
Snow: All I said is that you had to take my weapon from the dirt; I never said I wouldn’t attack you if you tried to take it.
Korah: Lousy piece of…!
*Korah rushes at Snow, but Snow easily overpowers Korah each time.
Snow: Get up. If I were Nergal, I would have ended your life by now.
Korah: Damn, how strong is Snow? I guess he really wasn’t lying. What am I going to….wait, Snow just said I had to take his blade right? Then I don’t need to fight after all!
*Korah reaches for Snow’s blade, but as quick as light, Snow appears in front of Korah with his fist stretched back.
Snow: Blizzard…
Korah: Ha! You can’t do any Ice-based attacks without your bla…
Snow: Fist!
*Suddenly Korah is encased in a block of solid ice.
Snow: You overestimate your own abilities too much; your hubris is your weakness you arrogant little fool.
*Suddenly Korah break out of his frozen prison and strikes Snow with huge amounts of strength.
Korah: Who’s overestimating who now!
*Korah sees Snow comatose and proudly goes to claim his prize.
Korah: I don’t training, especially from you; I’ll be taking your half of Blizzard now you arrogant little fool!
*As Korah grabs the blade his body begins to become incased in ice.
Korah: What the…!? Stop! No!
*Korah then becomes incased fully in a block ice.
Snow: Hmph…I usually have the power to back up my arrogance, you don’t have quite enough strength to do what I can. But in time that might change. Count yourself blessed that I’m freeing you.
*Snow frees Korah, who falls to his knees.
Korah: *panting* Why couldn’t I grab your sword without that happening.
Snow: I forgot to mention, I put a rather powerful spell on my weapon to prevent from being stolen. Anyone who touches besides me would be trapped in block of ice for all eternity, unless I say so.
Korah: You mean…you set me up!
Snow: Think of it as a lesson in humility, and a deal is a deal.
Korah: Err…Fine you win; I’ll be your pupil…for now.
Snow: Good, you’ve learned your first lesson.
Korah: And that would be?
Snow: Respect your master.
Korah: You’re not my master, I only had one master.
Snow: Had?
Korah: Never mind… It’s not important…
*suddenly thunder is overheard by both Snow and Korah.
Snow: It seems the weather has other ideas for the remainder of our session. This concludes today’s lesson, Follow me, we can find shelter in a cave near here.
*The two run off toward the cave to avoid being rained down upon, and set up camp for the night.
Snow: It looks like this storm is going very strong I’d assume it’ll continue through the night, it’s too heavy to keep training for now. It’d be best to catch our breath for now.
Korah: Snow, I have so many questions…But what’s bothering me the most is why you have a tail.
Snow: Korah, I am an Angelis.
Korah: An Angelis? The only thing I know about them is that they’re suppose to be a myth.
Snow: The world often calls things myths that haven’t been seen in eons. But Angelis blood runs through my veins nonetheless.
Korah: Can you tell me more?
Snow: Very well, since it will keep us entertained while we wait for the storms passing, I shall tell you what I know.
At the beginning of Terra’s formation two sentient races existed, one was the Angelis; Beings that appeared human and held the quality of an animal that existed since Terra’s formation. They possessed great reserves of magic and incredible physical powers. When an Angelis is born, they soon begin to develop power over one of the 8 elemental magic’s.
I developed mine at age 5 and soon began learn how to control it.
Korah: Wait, you said there were two races, what about the other one?
Snow: Ah, yes… The Phanteghor…
Korah: The Phantewhat? I’ve never heard of anything like that in my life.
Snow: Not many have…They were odd but remarkable race of peoples.
Korah: How so?
Snow: Well…The race itself was split into 3 different “sub-races”, all different of which looked very different. The first races, The Sapheem, had traits reminiscent of humans, but were taller and had oddities to them such as strange skin tones tattooed with strange markings and elongated necks. The second races, the Basaran, were giants that resembled a cross between forest trees and mammalian beasts, who were known for brute strength and endurance as they towered over enemies in battle. The third tribes…were…
Korah: Were…what?
Snow: …The third races, the Nigmarr were the most feared and powerful of all the species of the Phanteghor tribe. They ruled all over the other races of the Phanteghor, and for good reason. They were the most powerful of the Phanteghor, with mystical might beyond what many average Angelis mages could even fathom. Nobody in the ancient times knew what they looked like…They hid their faces by wearing strange headdresses and cloaked the rest of their body in thick robes. Fortunately, there was only a select few of them.
Korah: Fortunately?
Snow: Yes, You see, The Nigmarr Warlocks were the self-appointed “Sentinels of Terra.” But they were a prideful race…They thought of themselves “pure” and “unaltered” because of the power they possessed. It was them who started the “Wars of Ancient Times” a series of wars fought between the Phanteghor and Angelis. Despite this, the Nigmarr rarely showed themselves on the battlefield sending out warriors from the other 2 tribes to fight in their stead.
Korah: Why? They had more than enough power to fight the Angelis, right?
Snow: I’m not sure myself, but according to the stories of my people. It was because they did not want to “sully their robes” with battle.
Korah: Wow, these guys really had a pride issue.
Snow: The only known appearance of a Nigmarr Warlock during those wars was when an Angelis mage equal to one of their own in magic appeared on the battlefield.
Korah: Interesting.
Snow: The wars between the Angelis and Phanteghor continued for many years, as they seemed to escalate and engulf all of Terra…until that dreaded day.
Korah: That dreaded day?
Snow: It was a day that should be forgotten for all of time…The races of old call it “The Day of Calamity”
Korah: What happened on this day?
Snow: It began like any other day, until all over Terra the sky went dark with a foul mist which blotted out the sun and stars. Then like a malicious god of evil, it descended…
Korah: What did?!
Snow: The Ultimaxion...
Korah: Ultimaxion?
Snow: Do not say that name without reason; the sheer mention of its name can torment the weak of heart and unsound of mind.
Korah: Then what was this…creature you speak of?
Snow: An unspeakable beast that reeked with the stench of one thousand rooting corpses, it had 8 heads each the size of a mountain, each containing a huge supply of one of the elemental magic’s. Once it had descended on Terra it let out a terrible roar that threw Terra into chaos. Many died those who survived the horror hid where they could find little safety. It seemed to be the end of days for Terra. This continued for many years until eight brave souls with pure hearts decided that this could no longer continue. They took up blades crafted by their own hand and went to slay the demon.
Korah: What happened…?
Snow: Together they confronted the beast, and used their best effort to defeat it…But they couldn’t slice through the abomination’s mystic hide, it seems hope was lost. Until by some miracle their blades were granted divine power and their swords could cut through the devils hide. Each of the warriors slashed through one of the foul beast’s heads. The creature’s mystic blood soaked into their blades, granting each of the blade’s vast elemental strength. But with their last efforts’ the eight warriors had spent all of their power and had thrown their entire will into that last blow. Honorably, they perished in battle. But they left a memento of their great battle behind.
Korah: The Soul Blades…?
Snow: Exactly.
Korah: You mean….all of that really happened?
Snow: Every detail.
Korah: Wow....But…What happened to the Angelis and Phanteghor?
Snow: Well after such a terrible calamity, the Phanteghor and Angelis forged a truce and swore to fight no more; together they began to rebuild Terra with the other races. But while this peace lasted for many years, it was shattered when the Matriarch of the Angelis, unprovoked, declared war on all the races of Terra.
Korah: Why?
Snow: I’m not sure…some said she went mad with power…others say she had planned this from the beginning. Yet another war began threatening to engulf Terra, However this time the Phanteghor allied themselves with the other races to eventually claim victory. However, the war left Terra scarred once more. Over time, the Angelis grew weaker and weaker with our magical abilities, and the Phanteghor…
Korah: What happened to them?
Snow: No one is sure, they simply vanished…Not one of the 3 clans was ever seen on Terra again.
Korah: Wow…
Snow: However, one race seemed to flourish and endure…The humans. What they lacked in longevity they made up for in quick reproduction and persistence. It seemed they would take the mantle of the new dominant civilization of Terra. However this seemed to things worse for the Angelis…
Korah: How so?
Snow: Humans began to hunt the rest of the remaining Angelis…
Korah: But why?
Snow: Because soaking in or drinking the blood of an Angelis can extend the vitality and strength of a man tenfold. Because many of the Angelis were must weaker than our ancestors, it was easy for the humans to outnumber and overtake us…These hunts continued relentlessly, until almost all Angelis were extinguished. Only a few survived, and many of those who did were…
Korah: Were what? Tortured? Never found?
Snow: Corrupted.
Snow: An Angelis is a being of balance, because of the magic flowing through their body, if they are emotional unbalanced all the power in their body could overwhelm and mutate them. Their behavior becomes irrational and cruel and they will attack and kill anything that moves. Such is their fate…I was 17 when the hunts happened, I was lucky to make out alive and nonetheless corrupted. Sometimes I wonder if I’m truly last of my kind…
Korah: I know how you feel…I lost my entire village to evil men not long ago. It was like any other day; I was training to become a master swordsman with my master, Daisuke when it happened. There was the smell of burning and the screaming of the town’s people. My master and I ran outside to see what the source of this trouble was, he and I ran to check on the townsfolk in different directions, when I saw him. Nergal… He hand personally told his men to burn the village to the ground and slaughter all the villagers. I saw him with a vile smile on his face. I ran at him with more anger than I had ever had in my entire life. He saw me coming, and swatted me away with ease. I never had experienced any power in my entire life, and then it all went black. I blacked out, when I came too, Nergal stood over me, with a vile smile over his face while the rest of the town burned around us. Then my master arrived, I knew he was as enraged as I was, but he seemed so calm.
Korah: Without muttering a word, they removed their outerwear and prepared for battle. Daisuke lunged at him with speed and grace, but within a blink of an eye…He vanished. Then before Daisuke could tell what was going on, Nergal appeared behind him and stabbed him through the chest as quick as the wind. It was over…The last piece of my world was gone in-front of my eyes…Nergal had been searching for the piece of had Blizzard, I played dead to survive…when they couldn’t find it, they left. All my family and friends dead, and my village reduced to cinders. The pain I felt was tremendous…Before I could bury my master; he managed to hold on to some of his strength to tell me the location of Blizzard, and to get as far away from Rich Port as I possibly could. After that…he died, I buried him and followed his instructions.
I swear, I will end Nergal’s reign of evil if it takes all of my very strength!
*Korah says with tears fall from his eyes. Snow comes up to him and puts his hand on his shoulder trying to comfort him.
Snow: We will Korah, We will. Now get some rest, tomorrow we start the real training.
*Meanwhile
Knight: So anything unusual happen around these parts?
Bartender: As a matter of fact, there was that incident involving swordsmen with very unique-looking blades.
Knight: Keep talking.
*End of Chapter.
| |
| | | | Archlord Adramelech
Contributor
Number of posts : 1641
Age : 31
Location : Bottom of the Ocean.
Post Points : 7513
Registration date : 2008-11-26
Character Profile
Race:: Undefined
Element:: Dark
Member Points: 2
| | Subject: Re: Fixed the Script for some of TLOK's Chapters' Mon Jan 24, 2011 2:21 pm | |
| Developed a rough draft of the script for Ch.5 - Spoiler:
Chapter 5 script: (Rough Script)
(This scene takes place directly after the battle with the larger dragon.)
Korah: Wha-What…WHAT WAS THAT THING!!?
Snow: That my dear Korah, was a Greater Mountain Wyrm.
Korah: A what…?
Snow: A rare species of flightless, mountain dwelling dragon, known for its heavily armored hide, powerful leg muscles, crushing jaw strength, and it’s bellowing concussive roar. They aren’t usually found in this forest.
Korah: Then why was it here?!
Snow: While I’m not for certain, I assume that it migrated from the mountains down to the forest because of a scarcity of prey; so it came here to find new sources of food. However, that’s only my guess.
Korah: You think there might more?
Snow: I do not believe so, they normally don’t travel together.
Korah: Good, because that dragon was probably one of the scariest animals I’ve ever seen.
Snow: Well, now that’s cleared up why don’t we make our way out of here.
Korah: Good ide…
Korah: HEY! Hold on a minute!
Snow: What is it now, Korah?
Korah: Oh, I don’t know. Maybe you could explain why you abandoned me to fend for myself in this gods’ forsaken forest.
Snow: That is none of your concern, boy.
Korah: None of my concern? NONE OF MY CONCERN!?
Korah: While you were doing Terra-knows-what at Terra-knows-where, I was being ambushed and getting beaten by an entire army of bandits! If anything, I deserve a damn explanation on why you weren’t there watching my back!
Snow: …
Korah: Well?! Answer me!
Snow: I…
Korah: (suddenly coughs up blood and falls on his knees)…Dammit.
Snow: You’re injured?
Korah: Yeah…Thanks for noticing.
Snow: (puts his right arm underneath Korah’s arm, and places Korah’s other arm over his shoulder.) Come on, we need to find shelter so we can dress these wounds of yours.
Korah: But what if the Bandits ambush us again?
Snow: With any luck, the Bandits will think we were eaten by that Great Mt. Wyrm.
Korah: What if they don’t?
Snow: Then this time, I’ll have your back.
(Little while later, in front of the old Angelis Forest Temple)
Snow: We should be safe here.
Korah: What is this place?
Snow: This is an Angelis Temple, one of the few left built by my kind. This is where I came after I left on your own; it is very sacred to me so and wanted to visit this place on my own one last time. But seeing as how severe your wounds are, I suppose I can take you inside for you to heal/
(Shortly after, inside: Korah lies shirtless on a bed inside the temple clutching his wounds.)
Snow: Here, press these leaves against your wounds.
Korah: What is it?
Snow: It is the leaves of the Blue Holly, its leaves secretes a special juice that speeds up the healing process and helps to seal gashes and puncture wounds.(Korah takes the leaves and is about to place them.) Just be careful because it…
Korah: YEOW!!!
Snow: Packs quite a sting…
Korah: Thanks for the warning, Snow…
Korah: Y’know Snow, I don’t like being lied to.
Snow: Now when did I lie to you?
Korah: When you told me that the Soul Blades provided the user with invulnerability.
Snow: I never said that, I said that the swords’ magic provided with increased body resistance and rapid healing.
Korah: Oh yeah? Then why did that ability quit on me in the middle of my fight with the bandits?
Snow: Easy, you weren’t being efficient enough with your stamina and magical energy reserves. Plus, you were probably drawing more energy from your own body rather than from Firos Kattesai itself. To put simply, Korah, you over did it.
Korah: Then how come you can still stand and move with out a scratch on you after battled out with that dragon?
Snow: Korah, Korah, Korah. I have been much longer than and learned how to master these sorts of things. This is why I am the master and you are my disciple.
Korah: Yeah, Yeah…
Snow: Don’t worry, I’ll teach how to these things later on. For now, stay put.
Korah: Why, where are you going?
Snow: To get some food and water for us, we’re low on provisions anyway.
Korah: You’re going to leave me all alone again, especially while I’m vulnerable? What if the Bandits come back?
Snow: Don’t worry, this time I’ll seal off the temple doors and make sure there are not major breaches in the walls. No one should be able to get again except for myself.
Korah: No one will get in…Again?
Snow: Just try to sit still and relax, I won’t be gone very long.
Korah: You better not…!
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| | | | X-ela Hyoutetsu
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