Shadowmarks crap

Found a place for it

So, I guess I'll start with What little descriptions and information I have for the members I've made.

Because They all primarily wear Purple, I'm just going to leave the actual clothing part of the physical description out.

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General History:

The Shadowmarks Society of Bandits, thieves, killers, and assassins was started by an unnamed benefactor(Chaos) who recently quit the team.

The group was originally created because Chaos needed to preserve his life force, being a unique enough being as it is, so he finds over 1000 of the most wanted criminals, randomized beatniks, convicted offenders, and even ones he KNOWS will grow up into criminals. He then injected them with his own cold, demonic blood, making them grow large markings of dense, shadow looking marks on them. Right there and then, half of the people he had found, died from the overwhelming power of the the blood. and all but 8 members at least lived, with no physical reprocussions, but something about them HAD changed. They had little to no mental control, they all just did what they were told. This is primarily what got the members after 10 the rank and term "Purple Dolls". The remaining 8 had experience the same symptoms: Hallucinations, Heat flashes, breathing difficulties, and other miniscule effects, before transforming. Yes, transforming, as those 8 had all been transmogrified by the demonic blood of Chaos. As Chaos let them go crazy, and transform, he took his time absorbing the dead members, so he didn't waste blood. While checking them out, he had found one unaffected at all, no marks, no death, peak physical and mental condition. The boy had eyes or determination, and Chaos knew right away that should he need to leave, this boy WILL be his protige, his apprentice. And so, after the violent transformations, Chaos and helped the 8 up, and returned them to their normal status.

After a week's rest, he had dressed these 9 in purple robes, as well as the Dolls, and had thus made the Shadowmarks Society. Chaos spent long and hard, a good and steady 9 months training them. It was then that their main female member...had passed away. However, she had blessed us with 2 adorable children-2 that Chaos had decided to keep them and wait, until they had been of age, at least 5 years old, and had inducted them, and as of course, it worked flawlessly, boosting their main members up to 10(excluding Chaos). For the 5 years, Chaos had simply left, and the only one he could keep in contact with was his apprentice. Upon his return, Chaos had decided, to leave, and give his apprentice full responsibility of the society. Chaos had left some of the dolls, leaving the 10 to basically fend for themselves. They of course did, and using Chaos' power, had vowed to kill him. They had eventually found out that they too had immortality, which hadn't kicked in for a while, but had worked fine on the boys, as they had stopped growing and aging as old as age 11.

TLOK History, should they get accepted in.(mainly influenced by Nac):

The Shadowmarks Society had been wandering, looking for steady pay to keep themselves in good condition, for their fight with Chaos. As they were traveling, They had come across King Nergal, and King Nergal had hoped the have them destroyed, just in case, so he sent as large an army as he possibly could. The Shadowmarks, of course, had defeated every last man. King Nergal was outraged, until they had come to his door, and forced themselves into jobs, remaining as the "Royal Army" for Nergal, until they've found Chaos, OR the job has become undoable, they stayed, and searched more and more for Chaos each possible second, until they needed to return for rest. As Nac said during TLOK, there's a revolution perhaps, I believe it went something like-

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Korah's group waited until king nergal was weakened (After a war against someone), so that they could attack. Maybe, they could help to create a rebellion as a decoy.
Then, as nergal's men can not handle the search for the swordmen, he decides to send those special troops of his.

-and The swordsmen find themselves in Nergal territory. and The Shadowmarks go to do what they do best;kill. They find the swordsmen, and take them on, with whatever outcomes NF wants, and...I'm tapped after that.

I'll add some more later, chew on this for a while.

Suggestions:

*Change the name of "chaos", please.... is wayyyy, too stereotypically.

* Try to re-think the part you based yourself on what I said.
I think that they should not quit nergal's side, even though disobeying him a lot.
Saying that they can do whatever they like, because they know nergal does not have other choice.
"He need us, so we can do as we please"

* The idea I had about a revolution was this one:
Korah group waited until king nergal was weakened (After a war against someone), so that they could attack. Maybe, they could help to create a revelion as a decoy.
Then, as nergal's men can not handle to search for the swordmen, he decideds to send this special trops of his.

* You should re-think the members. I've a couple of idea for bad-guys, and I guess a lot of users does have them too.

* Do not make "chaos" kill the dolls, at least, not all of them. Those dolls could be monsters the syndicate summons when they need some distraction. (their personal army)

Deux Ex Jinzo[Nac] wrote:

Suggestions:

*Change the name of "chaos", please.... is wayyyy, too stereotypically.

Chaos is the general name of my general character, and my main character for anything. Around this time, he really doesn't have that name, as he reincarnates, it;s just that he's still the same person, and I adressed gim as such.

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* Try to re-think the part you based yourself on what I said.
I think that they should not quit nergal's side, even though disobeying him a lot.
Saying that they can do whatever they like, because they know nergal does not have other choice.

I like that Idea, perhaps they shouldn't go freelance again.

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* The idea I had about a revolution was this one:
Korah group waited until king nergal was weakened (After a war against someone), so that they could attack. Maybe, they could help to create a revelion as a decoy.
Then, as nergal's men can not handle to search for the swordmen, he decideds to send this special trops of his.

I'd need more specific details, and you'd probably have to ask NF this beforehand. It's not all me on here, you know.

Quote :

* You should re-think the members. I've a couple of idea for bad-guys, and I guess a lot of users does have them too.

Well, 4, 5, and 6 are the only real ones with set personalities, and the other''s, I'm still working on. Like I said, they're all still a work in progress, even though I've had them as characters for almost a year.

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* Do not make "chaos" kill the dolls, at least, not all of them. Those dolls could be monsters the syndicate summons when they need some distraction. (their personal army)

Duly noted, and to be changed accordingly.
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Ugh, tl:dr

I'll read this later.